Social Pariah

HATRED

 Lucas felt as though he sank in a hole of bitterness once again. The truth hurt him more than he could ever imagine. Living on this fantasy version of his birth mother left him to pieces. This feeling of hurt was so foreign to him, the intensity was overbearing. He couldn't comprehend on the vastness of his emotions on what he should really do.

Kyle's friends even noticed how emotionless he looked at school. They tried to ask him what was wrong but Kyle warned them that Lucas shouldn't be pestered as he was in his "vulnerable" state which made Lucas snap and tell them that he was really fine and that he was just thinking about how to pay their debts. He knew that Kyle didn't really believe him but the others did so he was still safe for now.

Lucas felt more pain and anger as time slowly passed by. It had already been a week and his anger was still fueled in his heart, never leaving him alone and constantly reminding him of the truth. Lucas badly wanted to forget everything but the voice – that stupid voice in his head – wouldn't leave him alone. And for some reason, this made him more pissed off.

"Lucas, when you hate someone, it doesn't mean that you don't love them. It means that you used to care for them but they did something that made you think that you didn't care anymore. Deep inside, we love everyone. But human nature has a vast range of emotions and when these dark emotions combine, hatred is the equivalent. You should always remember that. Hate is a really strong word. I'm glad I never felt that to anyone."

Lucas felt a rush of emotion, too many for him to bear and he stifled a scream. He pulled out his hair and threw his bag at his cabinet, producing a loud noise that could be heard from outside. He was lucky that his Mom wasn't here or she would've rushed in worry.

His frustration was evident on his tear-stained face, his fists clenched as he felt angrier and bitterer. The truth was swallowing him whole and affecting his mind and heart. It felt as though a piece of him was being pulled apart in pieces and he was trying so hard to prevent it. He couldn't just accept the truth easily. It was harder than he thought.

The truth killed his hope of ever knowing his real mother. He couldn't face her without hearing the words she said that crashed his heart and tore it to pieces. He felt broken, guilty of even doubting his father. His father already warned him but he didn't listen. Still, he knew that he had to know the truth or he would still be stuck in the fantasy of his "perfect" real mother.

The words that his father said to him replayed on his mind and he felt a little enlightened on what he was feeling. He scowled at the memory of his real mother. Curse her, he thought. Curse every fiber of her body. God, how I hated her!

"I HATE YOU, MARY! You will never be a mother to me!"

And he slumped on his bed, tears slowly dripping on the sheets.