Social Pariah

PAINLESS

Lucas had felt pain before. Numerous loads of times actually. It was as if pain was a natural part of his system, ready to be felt every moment. He knew every painful moment of his was inevitable. He couldn't control his life and all the things that were happening around him. Lucas always tried to look for a solution but then again, he and success didn't go well in the same sentence at all.

He couldn't look at his mother when she asked him about the gash on the sides of his stomach. He didn't want to tell her about how Kyle kicked him on the sides, how he taunted him with his newly acquired friends. He didn't want her mother to worry about him and tell the school authorities. The last thing he wanted was to cause a ruckus in the school and make his peers hate him more than ever.

"Lucas, you'll be late for school. Wake up."

Lucas groaned at the sound of his mother's voice. He didn't want to wake up, not yet. He's not ready to meet again Kyle and be tortured by the whole school again. He knew he was being bullied. He's not an idiot. He just didn't want to heighten the level of Kyle's anger at him.

Lucas went downstairs. He could smell the freshly baked toast and the familiar scent of the honey sauce his father loved to put in his toast. A nostalgic feeling swept over him and he could feel his knees getting weaker as he neared the table. He slumped down his chair and got a piece of toast.

"How are you?" his mother asked.

Lucas tried to smile but failed. "I'm fine, Mom."

His mother scoffed. "You can't fool me, Lucas John Parker."

Lucas grimaced. He wasn't used to being called his full name and he didn't want to hear it. His second name, John was his father's name and hearing John's name was just too much overbearing for him. He quickly rushed out of the house and didn't stop to look when his mother tried to stop him.

Lucas could hear the heavy breaths he was breathing out from his lungs after running to school. His school was not that far from his house, about two kilometers away so he never took the bus and instead walked to school. Today was not the day for walking. He had to escape his Mom. He had to.

Lucas never wanted to hear his father's name again. It always sent an ache of pain in his heart and he didn't like it one bit. He hated being a freak. He didn't want to cry in front of the whole school. He'll just be humiliated.

If only he could be painless and not feel any emotion, nothing in his life would be ruined. But then, he wouldn't be able to feel anyway. Still, at least no one hated him if that was real. He wished he was painless, so that he could survive this world, but he wasn't. He wasn't painless. No one was.