Lauren's POV
I woke up to the sound of my name.
"Lauren wake up" I see Josh standing over top of me. "We gotta leave. It's 6." I look over and sure enough the alarm says 6:00 am.
I take a shower and pull my hair up. It's a long plane ride to LA. We say our goodbyes to Josh's family, except for his dad who is giving us a ride to the airport. We have to stop at UK to pick up my stuff. I'm leaving my furniture there and taking all my clothes and personal items. When we pull into the parking lot in front of my dorm I see Kadie setting on the sidewalk, her head in her hands and my stuff beside her.
I walk over and she stands up. She looks really tired.
"Where's Sam?" I ask. I had already told him my plans about going to California. He said he's happy for me and told me not to change my mind if I get nervous.
"Lauren, I need to tell you something." She says. A tear coming down her face. "Sam, was in a wreck late last night. He didn't make it."
At that moment a million thoughts went through my head. Sam? My Sam? Gone? The boy who understood me? That helped me when I needed it? I think about his laugh. His shaggy long hair. The way he always called me by my last name and only called me Lauren when he was being serious. I remember our late night talks. Then I fall to my knees. Too shocked to do anything else.
---------------------------------
Josh's POV
Lauren hasn't said anything the whole way to the airport. I keep glancing over at her. She hasn't done anything. She hasn't cried, or screamed, or anything. I keep asking her if she's sure she don't want to stay. She says no every time. Kadie told us that Sam's real family found out and wants to have a memorial service for him along with a couple that helped him and Lauren, but when I asked Lauren if she wanted to go she said that's not Sam's real family and that she will pay respects her own way. She said her and Sam had talked about death before and he said that he didn't want his to be acknowledged. That's all she has said since we left UK. I asked my dad if I should be worried about her since she hasn't done anything and he said she's in denial or shock. She goes through all the airport security with a blank expression on her face. I grab her hand to support her but she doesn't seem to notice anything.
------------
Lauren's POV
When we get in our seats I put my head phones in. I know Josh is just worried about me but I'm tired of him asking me if I'm OK. I don't know the answer my self. I've never experienced this before. Never lost someone I actually love. And before I met Josh, Sam was the only person I loved. I hit shuffle on my phone and the first song that comes on is Demons by Imagine Dragons. It was the only song by my favorite band that Sam actually liked. I listen to it then my heart feels like it has just been torn out of my chest. I rip my headphones out of my ears and run through the aisle to the bathroom. Airplane bathrooms are really small. I sink to the floor and hug my knees to my chest. Before I can stop them, tears start streaming down my face. I can hardly breath and I'm gasping for air and sobbing at the same time. I barely hear myself whisper Sam over and over again. I hear the door open and a moment later I feel arms wrap around me and I know it's Josh. He holds me to his chest and doesn't say anything.
---------------------
I ended up crying myself to sleep and I wake up back in the airplane seat. Josh must have carried me. I look at him now. He's looking out the window. He looks extremely tired. He glances over at me. When he sees I'm awake he rubs his hand over my hair then leaves it on my cheek. I lean my face into his hand. He moves it to my hand and intertwines our fingers. I lay my head on his shoulder and he lays his on mine.
--------------
Lauren's POV
Josh goes into his house before me so he can put his dog, Driver, up so he doesn't jump on me. It's late and I can see Josh is tired. He sets on the couch.
"Can I use the shower?" I ask. He nods and takes my hand. He leads me to his bathroom and shows me where everything is. I nod thanks.
--------
Josh's POV
I go back down stairs and get a drink out of the fridge. As I'm about to sit back down on the couch I hear Lauren crying upstairs. I run up and into my room. I pause outside my bathroom door remembering that she is in the shower with no clothes on. I hear cry some more and I can't listen to it. I have to comfort her. I walk into the bathroom and avoid looking through the clear shower glass wall. I grab the towel off the rack and walk over to the shower. I turn the water off. I wrap the towel around Lauren and pull her to me. I hug her and rub her back. After a few minutes she calms down.
"I'm sorry. I just can't seem to control it. It's just random things that remind me of him and I just can't help it." She says.
"Are you really aplogizing?" I ask on disbelief.
She laughs at herself. "I guess I am" she laughs more.
"Do you want me to get your clothes?" She looks down and sees she's only in a towel. She blushes. "it's OK. I didn't see much." I say.
She blushes even more.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have came in." I say.
"No its fine. I'm glad you did. You've been so helpful." She says.
I walk down stairs to get her stuff. I take her suitcase to her and walk back into my room. I ran my hands through my hair and try to avoid throwing something. Why did this have to happen to her? Of all people. She walks out of the bathroom. Her long black hair brushed back. She wears a black tank top and red pajama shorts. She smiles at me.
"Do you wanna stay with me?" I ask walking toward her. I wrap my arms around her waits.
She wraps her arms around me, her hands on my back. She shakes her head. "I just need to be alone." I nod, a little disappointed, but what she needs is more important than what I want. She kisses me quickly and walks out.
I decide to take a shower. I stand under the hot water until it runs out. I get out and wrap a towel around me. I walk into my room and Lauren is standing there. She trys to avoid looking at my stomach area but I see her eyes flash down to where my tattoo is a couple times. I try to not let that get to my head.
"I lied." She says. "I do want to stay with you. I need to." I walk over and pull her into my arms.
"I love you." She whispers. She starts to kiss me and she pulls me toward the bed to where I'm laying on top of her. We kiss for a long time. Her hands on my neck, in my hair, on my back. I keep one arm under her and one behind her neck. Our kisses grow more desperate and it's hard for me to think about anything but her but I somehow remember all that had happened today and I pull back breathing heavily. She looks up at me. I just shake my head and go back to the bathroom to get dressed. I sit on the bathroom floor for a few minutes after I put on a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt. I think about calling Jennifer, my bestfriend. I told her about Lauren when I first met her and I told Jennifer about what happened today. I decide that she's probably asleep.
I walk back into my bedroom and Lauren is fast asleep in my bed. I lay down beside her and lay my arm around her.
"I love you too" I whisper.
