Josh's POV
When the awards are over we stand around talking to one another. We congratulate all of us that have won something. It's kind of funny how all of us (CF cast) stick together and distant from every one else. I'm happy for them winning but I just want to talk to Lauren. Thankfully she claims to be tired and decides to not go to the after party. I excuse my self also and we walk towards where the cars are parked by the valets.
"Did you drive?" I ask her.
"No I came with Liam." She says
"Oh. I can drop you off where ever." I say.
She says thank you and we get in my car. It's quiet for a while. I grab her hand and she smiles.
"I really have missed you." She says.
I'm happy to hear her say that.
"I've missed you so much too." I say squeezing her hand.
I realize I don't really know where to take her.
"Uhm...where have you been staying?"
"Uhm...With Liam." She says. Her face apologetic.
It hurts to hear. I know that I wanted them to be together so she'd move on, but it still hurt a lot that he got to hold her and I couldn't.
"Ok." Is all I say.
"I'm sorry Josh. About everything. I can stay with someone else if you don't want me to stay there."
"You can stay wherever you want babe." I say.
"I love you." She says.
"I love you."
"Can I stay with you just for tonight?" She asks.
We're at a red light and I lean over and kiss her. "You can stay as long as you'd like." I whisper.
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When we get back to my house we take a shower and lay in bed together. She's wearing a pair of my sweatpants and one of my t-shirts. I always love it when she wears my close.
"Let's talk." She says.
"What do you want to talk about?" I ask
"Everything."
"Ok, what songs did you sing to Liam?" I ask. I wondered that all the time when they were together. Did she sing him songs she sang to me? The thought had killed me.
"I didn't...sing anything. To him. Just to myself, and they were usually songs about you..like how sad I was to not be with you." She says.
We're laying in the bed looking at each other. She's tracing my tattoo like she used to all the time. And I'm tracing the lines inside her palm.
"I wanted to come see you so bad." I tell her. I know she can see the pain in my face. It's hard to hide.
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Lauren's POV
It hurts to see how much pain he's in at my confession about singing.
"I know baby. It's my fault. I should have let you." I tell him.
"What songs did you sing?" He asks in a quiet whisper.
"Thinking of you most of the time. Ecspecially when I was with Liam. I couldn't help but compare him to you. Compare my feelings for him to my feelings for you. There's such a big difference that it'd be impossible not to compare."
"Tell me." He says. He traces my palm and it's nice to feel him touching me again, even in simple ways like this.
"Well, like when he kissed me-" Josh flinches at that and closes his eyes. "-It was nothing like when you did." He opens them again. "When I kiss him, it was comforting, but when I kiss you its more than that. It is comforting, but it makes me feel like....I don't even know how to explain it. When you kiss me it's like you're the only thing that matters to me. Which you are, but when you kiss me it makes this more real. It's easier for me to understand that I get to spend my life with someone who knows me and accepts me and loves me." I tell him.
He smiles and moves closer to kiss me.
"Its like fireworks going off in my stomach, my head, my heart." I whisper.
"Tell me more." He whispers back.
"When he would compliment me, I didn't appreciate it as much as when you do. And when he would hold me, all I wanted was to be in your arms." I say. Tears starting to form.
He holds me to him and kisses my forehead.
"It's OK baby. We have each other now. Right?" He says.
"Yes." I say smiling. "Always."
"Welcome home, baby." Are the last words I hear before falling asleep, safe and at home, in his arms.
