America To Korea

Part 31: Trail of Tears

Previously: "It's exactly what it seems. You broke your promise. You threw away years of hard work and wasted them for music."

I stay silent. My eyes began to fill with tears that were on the edge of falling down my checks. I could feel the blood rushing around my brain as a mix of sadness and rage. I realize that I was so concentrated with my thoughts that I didn't notice the tears around Linda's eyes.

At last she finally said, "Jina you have disappointed me. But more importantly, you've disappointed your mother the most."

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-Jina's POV-

I couldn't hold back the tears anymore so I let them fall. As they fell, more and more piles up in my eyes and it was impossible to hold them back. Finally I speak up. "Please just let me explain." 

I wipped my tears with the sleeves of my sweater and pushed my dark locks behind my ears. "This. All of this, was not my intentions." I pause. "I am in a huge debt with an entertainment company and this is the only way I can pay it back." 

Her anger then disintegrate like how markings on sand disappear as the tides rush in. Her eyes which was once filled with disappointment, were now filled with sadness and empathy. She covered her mouth, "My goodness. How much? Which company?" 

"S.M Entertainment."

Her eyes grow wide. Her breathing gets deeper. 

"About 500,000,000 won. Almost half a million USD." 

Her expression grew pale, almost as if the number gave her a migraine. She ran her fingers through her hair, showing her frustration. "Oh Jina, how did you get into this predicament?" 

"I broke a very expensive statue. This was the only way I could pay it back. I didn't have a choice gomo."

"Why? Why didn't you call me? You should've discussed this with me instead of making the decision by yourself." 

My voice grew deeper and louder, "And what if I did? Will we be able to pay it off? It's half a million dollars. None of us can afford that much in this lifetime." 

Warmth returned back to her and she pulled me in for a embrace. "We'll find a way. I'll go to the bank for a loan."

I pulled away, "A loan?"

"I'll see how much we can get. I'll find a way to pay it off. I won't let that company continue to chain you up any longer!" 

I step away from her slowly, trying to process the situation. She looked worriedly at me, "Jina? What's the matter?" 

"Don't go to the bank." 

"What do you mean? You can't possibly want to work in the entertainment industry. Not for that company!" 

I didn't answer. My silence was my answer. When she finally came to the realization, she looked with betrayal. "No...You possibly wouldn't..No..."

"Yes!" I turn by back towards her. "Yes I would. I want to continue working for that company. I want to sing and dance. I want to be able to perform in front of thousands of fans." Tears dripped down my face like the Niagara falls but it was impossible to stop. I turned back to face her, "I love music." 

It broke my heart to say this words. It felt like years and years of hard work wasted. Those words, for twenty years, inching to come out, finally did. And the worst part, I'm glad it did. "All these years, I tried my best to make you happy. You said my mother wanted me to be a surgeon, but has she ever thought of how I feel? Have you thought of how I would feel? It's irresponsible of her for brushing all this pressure on me and just leave me like that! What gives her the right to do that? Has she ever thought of how I would feel without a mother? Have she-"

I feel a sharp sensation across my right check. My head swayed downwards and my eyes locked into the floor. I look up and see that Linda's right palm were bright red from the impact. Her eyes, drowned in tears. "I won't let you talk about your mother like that! You have no idea of what she has been through! And you have no idea of what she was like! You have no idea of what she has done for you! What she did, what I did, was all for this ungrateful daughter!" Her eyes grew larger and larger and her veins popped on the sides of her forehead. All these years, my gomo never laid a hand on me. She never did because I did what she asked, I was her precious niece. 

Jina, stop talking. Stop and apologize. 

Feeling hurt and filled with grief, I blurted out three words that I thought I'd never say, "I hate you!" 

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Whenever I felt sad as a child, I would lock myself in my room for hours and cry. It turns out that my habits didn't change as a young adult. My gomo would often try to cheer me up by bringing in chocolate chip cookies or Ice cream and I would always give into the temptations. 

Knock. Knock. "Jina?" It was my gomo. "Honey, let me in."

I refused to answer and covered my head with my blanket. 

Knock. Knock. "Please honey. You're acting like a teenager. Let me in so we can talk." 

Tears kept pouring out of my eyeballs like a dripping sink. No matter how hard I tried, there was no end to this. 

Knock. Knock. "Please Jina. I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said... or what I did. I just want to talk. There's something that I been wanting to tell you all these years but never had the courage to do it. I believe today's the day."

I didn't want to talk or do anything. All I wished for was to be in my bed and cry. But I knew that I would have to face it sooner or later so I opened the door. And there she stood with chocolate chip cookies and milk. "You're favorite," she smiled.

I wanted to smile back but couldn't and went straight back to my bed. Linda followed in and placed the tray of cookies on my desk. She walked over and sat on the edge of my bed, "I don't want things between us to end like this. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." 

Her eyes tried to meet mine but I refused to let that happen. She sighed and placed her hands on her lap, starring at the floor. "There's something that I think you should know. Something about your parents." She managed to capture an inch of my attention, but I was still heartbroken. Tears were still on my face, but it dried. 

I sat up with red, swollen eyes, "My parents?"

"Your mother and father." 

I turned back into my bed, "I don't want to know about my father."

"But I'm afraid that you already do." 

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MESSAGE FROM AUTHOR: my apologies everyone. I've been super busy lately. (my excuse every time but it's true!) I'm so glad that we touched on the subject of Jina's father. You will learn more about him in the next part. 

Tbh, one of the reasons why I'm so late is BECAUSE OF THIS SHOW......... TEN MILES OF PEACH BLOSSOMS OMG. If any of you guys are huge Asian Drama fans and haven't watched it yet, I suggest you go do it ASAP. I've been obsessing over it for the last 3 weeks after I finished it. Too much that I'm considering writing a story based off it. TT. ;.