America To Korea

Part 33: The Old Life Of California

Previously: Lee Chaewon? Lee Soo Man's wife? The current chairwoman of S.M Entertainment?"

"Yes." Linda continued as if she knew what I was asking in my mind. "That's her, my sister-in-law. Your father was married when we came to the states. Before he departed back, your mother was in distraught and begged him to stay, but he refused." Linda closed her eyes, "Just like that, without a care for you or your mother, he left and never came back. After he left, your mother found out that she was pregnant with you."

I gathered my effort to piece everything together. Today I learned something new, not just about my mother and father, but about me as well. The person that has caused so much grief to me and my mother, was under my nose all this time. And all this time, I am nothing but a illegitimate child that was born due to the act of adultery....

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I felt a sudden urge of urgency and stood up, my fists rolled into a ball. It was tonight, tonight where the skeleton was out of the closet. The perceptions that I had of my father remained the same since childhood, a cold-hearted bastard who left his unborn child. What changed was my perception of my mother, she was an angel who did nothing wrong to deserve her beloved to betray her. But perhaps her beloved wasn't hers to begin with. 

I turned to Linda and scoffed, "Who knew that two snakes had been hiding underneath my nose all this time?" 

Linda's eyes grew wide, "Jina, what do you mean?" 

"My father... he's Lee Soo Man isn't he? And Lee Chaewon.... that makes her my step-mother." 

Linda stood up and confronted me, "You mean, you met him? but how can that be? Could it be..?"

"You're right gomo, he's the CEO of the entertainment company that I'm under, S.M Entertainment." 

Tears formed in Linda's eyes as she covered her face with her hands, "How can this be? How can this be? how can this be......?" She refocus on me and firmly grasped my arms, "Jina.. Whatever you do, whatever happens, Do not reveal who you are to him. Especially to Lee Chaewon." 

I scoffed, "Why? So they can live happily ever after while we suffer? While they will never know the hardships they caused to my mother?" 

"You don't understand. If Chaewon finds out that you're alive... she will do everything she can to destroy you. She will kill you!" 

I remained silent, unable to give her the answer she wants. I wasn't sure what my answer was either. What would I do with these pieces of information? Should I pretend that everything is clear as water and go back to my original plans, paying off my debt and getting my degree? Should I escape from the likely fate of my mother? Or should I seek the justice that was robbed away from me and my mother?

Thinking and thinking made my blood boiled. For the first time in my time, I lost direction. The clear road that I thought I had taken was no longer there. I knew nothing that could happen could satisfy me. I suddenly remembered Lee Soo Man's kind smile for when I broke the statue at the S.M museum which now revolted me. I couldn't see myself bowing to him whenever I see him in the hallways anymore nor giving him the respect. But at the end, I would be fooling myself for returning to the life in Korea, smiling everyday, dancing and singing with the members, as if everything was okay. My world is filled with darkness that will never go away. 

I refocused back at Linda, she is scared. She sat back down on my bed and was full of thought. I knew that she was fearful of my response, intentions, and actions. I knelt down, hugged, and reassured her. "Don't worry gomo. Everything will be back to normal. I will go back, repay my debt, get my degree as promised, and return to help you with the restaurant. I promise to look after myself and not do anything stupid."