I've been in pain all day. I actually wish I was no longer one of the living. The headache I gained at Ford's Theatre only grew stronger. The pain throbs behind my ears, especially on the right. Overall, I feel like shit.
We went to some museums and I got to play with butterflies.
I don't know if I can even remember what positive things happened. My head hurts that much.
•••
Other than my head, my stomach hurt horribly at the Pentagon Mall. Oh yea. That.
Basically, we went to the mall for dinner. I got Cinnabon or whatever it's called. While my friends and I went around the mall, I realized I didn't have money with me. I went to search for her after she finally told me where she was.
As I made my way there, I tried my best to get to a bathroom but I couldn't find one. Why? Oh yea, because I my stomach hurt more than how bad my mouth hurt after getting my wisdom teeth removed. It was horrendous. Anyways, I just made my way to my mom and she told me where to go.
I got to the bathroom and guess what!
A giant line.
I honestly felt like the world was pulling me down and that I was producing an ocean of sweat. I had that horrible lump of anxiety in my throat and I swear, I felt like all eyes were on me the whole time. When I made it to the toliet, I took a moment of relaxing before realizing that, oh shit, I had to leave to the bus soon.
My mom met me outside of the bathroom and we walked around. She kept asking me what I wanted to do, I just wanted to leave.
We got to the waiting area and I instantly had moment as despair while tears poured down my face and I lost all relaxation I had, if I even had any. I tried to hide my face by digging my face into my mom's shoulder. A few people questioned it and I just gave them this as any conversation:
"Are you okay, Sydnie?"
"No."
Seriously, I felt horrible. I was crying in a mall with a terrible stomach ache and headache. I wanted to die. I thought of so many horrible thoughts on the bus. I tried to think about better things, like Amelia or my friends, but I just couldn't.
Why, just why, can't I ever enjoy myself without something bad happening?
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RANTS AND MY THOUGHTS
RandomMostly me complaining. I wouldn't suggest reading this if you know me personally/in person, it's likely that I complained about you or mentioned you :) But if you wanna read this, read this. I can't stop you. ??
