Hamilton characters x reader

alexander x reader

Alexander x reader
(this is really sad i'm so sorry)

warnings: badly written poetry on my behalf, sad stuff, like there's no happy stuff i'm sorry, cheating, crappy writing

i'm sorry this is so sad.

~~~~
*flash back*
   "STOP AND LISTEN TO ME" I screamed at him as he started opening the front door. he looked at me in the eyes. I had tears going down my cheeks. he had tears going down his cheeks. he closed the door and sat down next to me.
   "I will never understand why you did what you did. I will always ask myself what did she have that I didn't give to your. I gave you everything I possibly could and more. you're all I have. and yet you go to another for love and affection. so yeah i'm pissed... I hate myself for not yelling at you. I hate myself for not letting you go. but I also hate myself for not satisfying your needs. so you can go. you can leave if you think it will change anything. but I will never stop loving you." I said not letting myself cry anymore. I knew he got up and left when I heard the door close. I knew I was alone in this. I heard my phone start to ring so I answered it.
   "h-hello?" I asked. the person of the other line sounded a little upset.
   "hi I'm Angelica, i'm calling for a um.. y/n l/n?" she answered sounding full on pissed.
   "hi Angelica, I am her." I said trying to sound happy. do I know an Angelica
   " hi so you know this guy named Alexander Hamilton and he's Cheating on you. I would just like you to know. i'm sorry for the inconvenience." she said. I knew already. I knew my Alexander was cheating. only if she knew what I have been through the past three hours.
   "I-i'm afraid I know of this information. t-thank you f-f-for your kindness." I said trying to hold back a sob. my hand was now shaking and I felt as though I was about to pass out.
   "y/n are you going to be okay?" she asked sounding genuinely concerned. I wanted to thank he again.
   "no, but I always seem to get through everything so I'll be okay. once again thank you for your kindness." I said letting a few tears leak. I hung up the phone and sat on the couch to curl up in a ball and cry.
*time skip five months*
   I gets hard to be alone. I haven't seen Alexander since he left. I haven't seen any of his/my friends since I left. and I was in the middle of preparing myself to go to a poetry jam at the bar. I started writing poetry and preform there often. as soon as I got there I took my seat in the front row noting that I was one of the last ones there. I wanted nothing more than to just leave and run and never have anyone look at me again. but when my name was called up I found my voice and spoke.
   "sound, listen, voice,
under minded yet can be so Loud. the voice carrying on through the wind, drifting, echoing, gone... just almost the same way you left. drifting, dropping, pain, and then gone. hurt is like a balloon. you keep it with you. hold onto it so it won't drift away. but when you finally let go you don't realize the pressure released on your fingers. your hands red from the many times the ribbon was wrapped. blood flowing back to those red, hurting fingers. until you are completely full again. waiting for the next balloon. or you're like me. you hold on to that balloon. and soon enough you have too many balloons you sit and wait for them to slowly deflate. 'concur your pain' I was told. but what if my pain is too strong. it's no balloon nits a blimp. only it doesn't come down. it's indestructible, but the bad part if, my blimp, it gets bigger and bigger. eventually caring me away with it. to the sky, I will fly. I can soar like a bird. I will jump over the moon. I will outfly all the airplanes, jets, helicopters you name it. I will carry on. so maybe that pain is a pleasure. it taught me how to fly. it taught me that when something gets too big you can't handle it, flow with it." I finished. I looked to see him there. standing in the back. waiting for me. looking at me. but also looking at someone else. a girl. long black hair. beautiful blue sundress. happy. helpless just like I was once. I stepped off the stage with tears in my eyes. everyone was still clapping. but my Alexander. her Alexander. he was the loudest.
  

(there's a thunderstorm going on right now and i'm hiding under a table until my mom gets home)