Fín {Third Book to Secret}

Ninety Two

May POV

Harry and I are in bed the following morning. He's just looking at me. His eyes look gloomy making my heart hurt. I kiss his cheek and his forehead.

"May?"

"Yes?"

"I want you to get tests done." My eyebrows furrow. "L-like genetic testing and stuff."

"Why?"

"Because I want to know if at some point you'll get cancer." My head tilts. "A-and if something does come up we can do something about it." My heart aches.

"Harry-"

"May, please." His eyes meet mine. "I can't lose you too."

"I'm not going anywhere Harry." I say. I move closer to him. My hand goes on top of his.

"I need to know that you're not going to die on me at some point within 50 years." I bite my lip. "Every women and girl that I've loved besides my sister is dead and or is dying. And you can't add onto that list."

"I'll do it, okay?" I say while gripping onto his hand tighter. His eyes look sad. "I love you Harry."

"I love you more May." His head rests on my shoulder. I kiss his cheek. "You'll be okay."

"I hope." He murmurs gently.

Our bedroom door opens with our son that looks half asleep. Baxter is beside him. They both get onto our bed and sit next to us.

Finn fits himself between Harry and I making me smile. "Did y-you like my card Daddy?" He asks.

"I love it. Thank you buddy." He kisses our son's forehead and holds him. "I love you Finn."

"I love you too Daddy." I smile at them and look to Baxter who's panting. His tongue is out and he licks my face. My nose scrunches but I mange to smile.

***

It's 11 in the afternoon. I hear Harry on in the kitchen while cleaning.

"Hey Mom--how are you?" I stand behind the wall and eavesdrop. "I'm okay. I just wanted to say sorry for how I was yesterday--I should be sorry, I was a dick. I just wish you told me sooner." Anne responds. I can't hear that though.

"I would've still treated you the same, Mom--okay maybe a little different but that's how I am." I bite my lip. "May's fine--No she's not mad at me for what I said--I didn't mean it like that--yes I'm sure. I'm not that clueless--Have you told Gemma?--how did that go?--I'll call her later--Finn is good. He's in his play room now--no he doesn't know--I'll try not keep that away from him as long as I can, okay?--Are you in any pain?" There is a small pause. "Have you got any medicine for that?--And it doesn't help the heart burn?--Should you go to the doctors?

When is your appointment?--Is Dad going with you?--what time? Oh, I'll uh let you go then. Call me after, okay?" The room falls silent. "Mom?--I love you. I'll see you soon." I hear him put his phone down on the counter.

I walk into the kitchen and see him wiping the corner of his eyes. "You okay?" His head shakes no. I wrap my arms around his waist and hug him.

"She's been having chest pains." Harry tells me. I bite my lip. "What if the cancer went somewhere else?"

"Have positive thoughts." His hands hold me tighter against him.

"I don't like her in pain." He says. My eyes sting. "She doesn't deserve it."

"I know." My thumb rubs small circles on his lower back.

My heart hurts for him. He's genuinely the biggest mama's boy and I can't imagine what he's going through. In his parents house you see photos of Harry and Anne all over the place. They range to when he was a little boy to now.

"Are you going to work tomorrow?" I ask Harry.

"I don't know." He murmurs. "I'll see." I nod against him.

***

I sit in Finn's room. He's with Baxter on his bed. "Having fun?" I ask him.

"Y-yes." He stammers. "Is Daddy still sad?"

"Yeah." I answer.

"W-why?"

"Grandma doesn't feel that well." I come up with.

"Should I-I make her a c-card?" Finn asks me.

"I think she would love one buddy." I kiss his cheek.

"What c-color do you think G-Grandma would like?"

"Hm, go with the purple. She likes that color." He nods and grabs the construction paper. It's a light purple.

Since he's only 3 he doesn't know how to spell or write that well. I tell him some letters and he does his best to write it out.

I wish I could take his stutter away from him. I know since he's so young he doesn't notice it that much. But I remember living with one and I hated it. I just don't want him to go through what I did.

"I-Is that a G?" My son asks me.

"Close." I say. "You got better bud." He grins causing his dimples to appear.

"Can I-I give this to Gr-Grandma today?"

"I'll call her to see when she's home, okay?" He nods. "Finn?"

"Yes Mommy?"

"I love you."

"I love you too." He leans over and kisses me making me smile. I ruffle his little curls and watch him make his card.

A://N

hello

comment goal: 50??? that would be cool

thoughts??

~lauren