haikyuu headcanons

the kitchen is on fire

Cooking skills 101

Daichi
- doesn't really know how to cook some complicated stuff but prepares decent enough food
- gets really happy when his cooking is appreciated and he will emit a bright aura the whole day or the next day

Sugawara
- typical moms know how to cook everything but suga isn't one of those bc he is unique and unparalleled (eh jk but srsly yeh)
- his knowledge about recipes is limited but once he gets cookin', even a the owner Three Michelin Star restaurant would be satisfied

Asahi
- can actually make fine dishes if not for his fear of the oil and of the burns you may acquire
- has been cooking no fried things whenever he'd be asked to do so and would pass the responsibility on to someone else

Nishinoya
- this little number four can surely cook
- he's been a rebellious kid ever since so that's the reason why he tried to take every kind of household chore into testing and he took a liking to cooking bc food
- been learning how to do better since he wants to impress ppl

Tanaka
- no, tanaka don't cook bc saeko is there to do it
- he would end up burning the food no matter soup or sushi (idk he rlly doesn't know too) but his hands are rlly dexterous like he slices vegetables and minces meat and all of those stuff very nicely

Ennoshita
- pls don't make him cook unless u are ok with not being able to opem your mouth for the next seven days
- has been setting the pot holders and wooden ladles on fire and has been known for always ending up melting the plastic wares he gets to hold
- microwaves explode under his command

Narita
- normal cooking, like, very normal cooking as in average cooking
- ofc he can cup ramen and hotdogs
- is happy with whatever the results would be and keeps the kitchen clean, neat and in order even after cooking

Kinoshita
- he doesn't pay attention to his dishes on the pans bc he is too focused on his celphone
- only detects the smoke because he fails the level (on whatever he's playing like geometry dash probably) since he couldn't see the screen everytime

Kageyama
- NO MORE QUESTIONS HE IS AS GOOD AS YUKIHIRA SOMA END OF EXPLANATION PERIOD EXCLAMATION POINT

Hinata
- "mom, how do i open the soy sauce?"
- can cook okay food, really, but he just gets delayed in his processes bc he never spots anything when it's needed since he no organize things

Tsukishima
- do u think he even
- only goes to the kitchen to eat bc mom is there n' big bro is there

Yamaguchi
- he doesn't really cook stuff but is more inclined towards baking
- loves making sweets (plsgivemecreampuffsrighthererightnow) because he says that "tsukki loves sweet things so i started to learn how to bake *giggle giggle* i hope he likes this strawberry cheesecake i made *giggle*

Oikawa
- he'd end up cooking himself
- isn't a fan of cooking but likes to eat but because diet ( please get inspiration from him tho im not saying that you aren't beautiful the way you are )

Iwaizumi
- can really cook
- for example, noodles and other soups, all instant
- feeds people with junk food and says "frozen everything atleast it is edible" all the time and no handmade stuff

Matsukawa
- tried cooking even the simplest scrambled egg one time and had the food burnt
- traumatized because he tried eating his cooking and white foam started bubbling from his mouth as his body spasmed on the floor

Hanamaki
- actually really good
- cooking can rival a health-oriented restaurant's

Kyoutani
- street food everywhere
- doesn't even cook, just reheats some frozen pizza and stuff oh my god he is too unhealthy but somehow he can still be healthy bc just look at stray dogs

Kuroo
- . . . No explanation needed hE CAN COOK FOR SHIT OML U NEED TO TASTE HIS COOKING RIGHT NOW OR ELSE YOU'LL HAVE TO REGRET DYING WITHOUT DOING SO

Kenma
- 'y cook when u have chips, cookies n cola'
- unhealthy smol cat but kuroo comes over to cook so we're all good

Lev
- once the team went to his house and everyone else was out ( including their servants bc i think they have atleast two or three ) so he cooked for them
- he makes rllllyyyyy good omelette like better than maid café omelette

Yaku
- have u ever seen a mom who can't cook? Yaku's here to fill in that slot
- i mean he never eats at home and goes to these restos and cafes and all so that when he gets home, he just sleeps immediately ( who wouldn't get exhausted with lev around )

Taketora
- doesn't cook
- END OF DISCUSSION

Innouka
- rich kids don't need to cook bc they have servants and all da money to eat outside

Bokuto
- y would you even try to make him cook something wtf you'll be singing Death Parade's ending song in a moment if u taste the food he made

Akaashi
- we all know akaashi can do anything that ever exists in this world ( including hosting an underground auction refer to criminal - police chapter ) so nvml

Ushijima
- . . .
- plsno
- donot
- iwarnyou
- never

Tendou
- ok so the guess monster guesses stuff even when cooking ( like ingredients etc ) by tasting the dish once and he somehow gets it right like exactly the same wtf

Shirabu
- always ends up adding TOO MUCH SALT on whatever he cooks or even bakes
- hair starts falling on the plates but meh bc no one would eat the food anyway ( who tf likes an overdose of salt )

Goshiki
- "i am the ACE"
- aces in burning the kitchen

Semi
- French French French French French cuisine everywhere including escargot ( oml dnsnsjaxbsj how do they even cook this and who the heck discovered this kind of lol sorry if u like escargot ) but wow, the sweets r sooooo nice and the rest of his cooking is like andnjajbskaakbsjakana

Kawanishi
- traditional Japanese food everywhere
- makes the best sushi ( better than that old man in the Japanese food resto in your country )

I was running out of goddamned ideeaaassssss so yesssss