haikyuu headcanons

dying words

( It's 3 AM my brain is blank )

LAST WORDS ( sorry );

Daichi
- burn my porn books they r under my bed *coughs* *dies*

( i can't get over daichi and porn magazines )

Suga
- mama loves you *smiles and tear drops from one eye* *closes eyes while holding your hair* *dies*

:')

Asahi
- nico nico ni! *dies*

( loli anyone )

Nishinoya
- kiyo. . . a. . . sa. . .*spurts blood and dies* *body spasms and he rolls down the bed*

Tanaka
- . . . shitty boys. . . *dry gasp* *dies*

Ennoshita
- *clucks ( chicken noises )* *dies*

( what is wid meh and ennoshita chicken )

Kageyama
- bbboke-- *cough* -- serve-- *cough* *inhales and never exhales again*

( BOKE --- SERVE -- wtf is this supposed to mean )

Hinata
- thank you *smiles* *dies*

:')

Tsukishima
- so it's finally over? *lies down in the morgue voluntarily* *dies smiling in relief*

( or )

Yamaguchi
- *blushes* *giggles--coughs* *dies*

( ok wth did i just )

Oikawa
- don't put too much powder on my face when you bury me, okay? i need mary kay foundation and colorstay lipstick-- *hit by iwa and dies*

Iwaizumi
- *sigh* *dies*

( what )

Kuroo
- get the list of people i was planning to marry on the fourth compartment near my bookshelf and give them each a wedding ring by taking the chequebook from my mom because we keep it in a family vault. please take the best rings, make sure they have diamonds, and never, ever forget to dress me up real good when i am get to my coffin. give all my condoms to kenma-- *lungs constrict* *dies*

( wHAt )

Kenma
- bye kuroo *hugs psp and dies*

Yaku
- . . . i'm hungry *closes eyes* *drools* *dies*

Lev
- did i ever tell you i could actually speak russian? *everyone kicks his bed* *gets smashed by the bed that flipped over and dies*

( i was about to say another ice skating thing but )

Bokuto
- hEY HEY H-- hhhhhhhhaaaaa *starts choking* *dies with mouth open*

Akaashi
- i was never happy *crawls to the coffin and shuts it* *dies*

( help )

Ushijima
- i. . . am. . . a classic. . . gentleman-- *dry cough* *coughs up blood* *dies*

Tendou
- *singing the tendou song while staring at the roof with that same expression* *singing sounds so broken that people in the room with him start crying* *dies after the fifth loop*

( what did i just imagine ok should i oneshot now or what )

Shirabu
- tell my hair stylist to get my children the same haircut ok? *cuts bangs and dies*

Goshiki
- I AM THE ACE-- *chokes and dies*

Semi
- i'm still sexier than anyone of you so shut the fvck up and burry me with a bikini. no questions because i'm dying. *sighs* *dies*

( nor can i forget semi wearing bikinis )

( brain
- lmao u have zero creativity )