another random-ass chapter for y'all because i've been sooo fucking inactive with this book and f u c k let's go
_ • _ • _
hinata: huh? yamaguchi and tsukishima are pretty off today.
kageyama: what do you mean?
hinata: nothing, just... well, it's like they don't wanna talk to each other.
kageyama: really? hm, you're pretty sharp for a dumba--
hinata: CALL ME THAT AGAIN ONE MORE TIME, ONE MORE TIME, MISTER TOBIO, AND I WILL DRAG YOU ACROSS THE GYM FLOOR UNTIL YOUR PRETTY FACE GETS FRICTION BURN.
kageyama: ...
hinata: ...
the floor: ... yespls
tanaka: *crashes into the gym with a loud bang* guysguysguysguysguysss
noya: *rolls into the building 2.5 seconds later* SHITSTICKS AND JESUS HAIRY CHRIST ON A FUCKING MOTOR SCOOTER
asahi: *walks into gym* i-i don't have a scooter, actually...
kageyama: hello senpais
hinata: w h o a what the hell happened to y'all?
suga: hinata, no slang please
daichi: slang is for bed business
ennoshita: ok no one cares about your kinks for now. what's up?
tanaka: TSUKKI LOOKED AT YAMAGUCHI LIKE HE'S SOME CREEP AND AVOIDED HIM DURING LUNCHTIME
noya: WHAT'S MORE SURPRISING IS THAT HE FOOKIN' SAT WITH US AAAAAAA
asahi: *shaking* bless us all, we're doomed! the blight is spreading!
noya: uhhh asahi-san, calm your mantits down for a li'l while--
kinoshita: lol i read mantis
narita: could you stop breaking the 4th wall
kinoshita: there are only three walls, my good friend. sina, rose, and maria
narita: *facepalms* hoooeee my god here we go
tanaka: *blasts sasageyo thru the speakers he magically pulled out from fuck-knows-where*
noya: SHIIINSOU WO SASAAAGEYO *jumps so high he crashes into a spacecraft* *jk, he crashes into asahi*
asahi: AAAAAAAAAAA COPROPHAGIA
daichi: chill
suga: *drags asahi into the infirmary, daichi trailing them close behind like a practiced assassin, his oculars flicking and his telescopics spinning, his adrenaline rushing through his body like a bucket of lava poured over his head. he felt his senses kick themselves high into overdrive, and he snuck through the shadows, unseen, like a chameleon as he blended with the colors that shifted through the windows. his lips spread into a smile, then, a wide white grin as he witnessed the angel dump jesus onto a fucking hospital bed and leave him to be tended to by the apothecary. the angel left the hospice cautiously, his footsteps receding down the hallway like an uncle dancing to the beat in hawaii, the night young and beautiful. they returned to the gym, and daichi's super super stealth technique helped him get away with his stalking without heightening suspicion among his comrades.*
narita: ok so...
suga: while asahi gets his injuries treated in the hospice, we plan our next move so we can finally kick the damned bad guy's ass for once and for all. *brings out a map that looks like it came straight out of a medieval setup*
YOU ARE READING
haikyuu headcanons
Fanfictioni wrote this as a deluded 14 year old who thought i was important. read if you will but don't let it determine your impression of my humor; i'm actually funny guys (lies). i'm better now (lies).
