haikyuu headcanons

bloody nurse

Why haikyuu got into a hospital;

Daichi: tried to help a granny walking down the stairs in a grocery and ended up being the one to slip lol

Suga: fainted because is on a diet and hasn't eaten for 3 days

Asahi: eats hotdog stuck in the sink for 24 hours and gets salmonella, eats raw chicken and egg and gets infected with bird flu

Noya: trying to do a backflip but had failed the mid-air turn so he flips out and accidentally uses an arm to land, thus, breaking it ( do not try this at home )

Tanaka: catches an intense cold that needs him to be admitted into a hospital because no one knows

Ennoshita: gets a toothache for the first time in his whole 17 years of existence

Narita: was trying to skip classes but bc this was his first time skipping classes, he panics so much and trips on a bush and faceplants into rocks ( ouch what )

Kinoshita: hasn't slept for a eight days straight and fainted because of watching too much anime and playing video games and was brought to the hospital by his dog

Kageyama: fatigue. . . and quite a few greenstick fractures ( hey, atleast they aren't compound fractures )

Hinata: jumped so high that when he landed on the floor, his legs couldn't take the impact and his patella popped out of place, along with the bones conjoined to form his toes and he also ripped his Achilles tendon, got his joint cartillage gnashed together so his bones slid out of place and his hamstring muscles flailed out of force's way bc the tendons that connected his upper and lower thigh muscles weren't able to withstand the contradiction of the magnitude forces that the contraction and pull has caused

* note: what have i done to hinata *

* note: idk what i was writing so pls dont laugh at wrong terms ok genius *

* you thought kageyama's case was bad enough but turns out no *

* just imagine this happening to some random classmate fcuk this it's too gross lol *

* i just did, now i can't dare to jump ever again *

Tsukishima: cause of death; laughing so hard and no one knows why jk jk he's in the hospital because he actually works there. . . As a part-time janitor.

Yamaguchi: tried to repair his own damaged electric circuit

Oikawa: running to one of the doctors wailing about his broken heart

Iwaizumi: accidentally bumped his head under the table and was brought to the hospital with a concussion, thus, resulting in a temporary memory loss which could actually possibly be a rare case of selective amnesia

* note: i am running out of ideas *

Matsukawa: internal bleeding

Hanamaki: food poisoning

Kyoutani: he got into a fight with one thug and the thug was actually drunk at that time, holding a beer bottle, so he stabs the bottle and it breaks on kyoutani's back so the shrapnel is stuck there

Watari: eats dog food

Yahaba: trying to cook choux a la creme but opened the oven too soon, so the puffs started to deteriorate and he panics so he reaches into the oven and he gets fourth-degree burns

Kuroo: trying to imitate the essence of the 'Partners in Crime' song and almost gets caught by the police, thus being forced to run on the sloping rooves of Germany and twist his ankle, falling into a garbage pit and cracking his skull open ( hooray circle of shadows )

Kenma: ate nothing but chips, drank nothing but soda and did nothing but stare at the digital screen for 3 months

Yaku: was actually just hungry but then he goes to the hospital saying he has been hit by a virus; "such a phenomenal crisis indeed" as quoted by his poodle

Lev: he just acquired braces and went to play soccer with some of the other Russian kids so a soccer ball hits him on the forehead and his braces gets pushed out of his gums, resulting in intense bleeding and pain ( this actually happened to someone idk how so don't ask me )

Akaashi: was trying to chase a shoplifter and falls into a twenty-seven foot open pit that appeared out of nowhere on the highway

Bokuto: is the shoplifter who doesn't get into a hospital because he has a getaway vehicle driven by kuroo then starts crying when he realized he lost his bro and his bae later on

Ushijima: was trying to do that sword-swallowing thing done by magicians

Tendou: was trying to find his superior temporal gairus and ended up rupturing his olfactory nerves, thus, resulting in nasal damage and permanent brain damage

Semi: thinks he is Tet and skydives 59271 feet from the air by jumping off a plane and expects to slow down in landing when they are three inches above the ground, but then he's just Semi and not Tet, so he is now in the morgue with a mutilated body

Shirabu: got shampoo in his eyes

Goshiki: stung by a jellyfish

Kawanishi: algebra