My Past (Alphonse X reader)

Feeling

'Sorry Al.' I knew I shouldn't have moved away like that. His arm was firmly around me, still embracing me, holding me close. 'I was shocked. That's all.'

'It's fine. Just don't push me away again.' He was pleading, I didn't realise until this then. I didn't realise that I hurt him this much. 'I know I can't feel with my body, but I have feelings.'

His words trailed off as he spoke. He just spoke from his heart. I saw his eyes fill with embarrassment and regret. All I could do was rest my head on his shoulder, the hand resting on my leg unlocked with his as I wrapped my hands around his torso.

'You said you'd always be with me, right?' I wanted to make his eyes light up again, see him happy after my actions made him upset.

'I will. Whether I'm here or not, I'll be in your heart.' I stared at Al, his gaze fixed on his lap, my face heating up again.

'Good, I'll be with you too. Don't forget that.' I wiggle out of Al's grasp and laid my head on his lap, looking into his eyes. 'You'll feel again soon, Ed promised I'm sure he'll come through. I know it's hard, but all I can feel is your warmth anyway so I didn't really think of it. I'm really sorry.'

Al and I stared at each other intently. A smile creeped onto my face and I saw his eyes light up a little. After a while my eyes closed, I could still feel Al staring at me.

Yet again the figure appeared, the same position Al and I were in. I stared at him and smiled, his hair danced across my face as he stared down at me.

'Al.' I spoke to the figure now. I knew who he was, I figured it out. His features resembled Ed's, his body withering as it hung on to his last piece of life.

'Mmm.' Al hummed back at me, not wanting to disturb the silence we had.

'I'll also find a way to get your body back.' I knew how warm he felt but he couldn't feel me. All I wanted was for him to feel my heartbeat, my embrace, my care. 'I'll help any way I can.'

'Thank you.' My vision returned to reality, Al's eyes were bright and warm.

I began to sit up, but before I fully sat upright Al's arm pulled me onto his lap. His head lay onto my chest, he wanted to cry, he prayed for tears. He wanted to show emotion like I did, wanted to see how I would react and comfort, but it was more than that. He wanted to show me how he felt without staring into my eyes, how I didn't have to analyse his body language. If only he could cry.

'I know it's hard.' I held his head, I knew he couldn't feel my embrace, but somehow he must have felt it. 'I'll help I swear.'

I rested my head on his now. I could feel his emotion, I could feel his sorrow and how he wished he was normal.

'You don't have to help.' My body jolted violently, Al stared too. Ed spoke to us, stared at us. 'It's my job to help him, it's your job to be happy and make him happy too. Got it?'

'If making him happy helps I'll do it.' Ed looked at me and smiled weakly. He wanted support.

Al and I stood up before Roy and Fuhrer King Bradley came out of the room.

'Sorry for taking up your time.' Yet again King Bradley spoke, his voice was vile.

I watched as he walked away, Roy beckoning all of us back into the room. We all followed like sheep, though Ed couldn't contain his anger and sadness for something, it was for us. Maybe not us, but Al, Al's body to be exact.

'Al.' Ed spoke loudly this time. We could all hear him clearly, luckily Roy closed the door so no one else could hear us. 'I will get your body back I promise.'

'I know. It's just hard.' This was their moment. 'I can't remember how you felt Ed. I can't remember how Winry felt either. I can't remember how mom felt. I just want to sleep too, and eat all these foods. I'm doing my best I swear.'

'Al, I'm so sorry.' Ed had to bite his lip to stop himself from crying. 'It's my fault. We'll find a way I promise.'

'(Y/n), do you know anything about transmutation that could help us?' I didn't expect Al to talk to me. I probably jerked my head towards him wide eyed.

'Not anything special.' I wished I could help so desperately. You never know how hard it is for someone until they spell it out for you and still their emotions are too complex to understand. 'I believe getting your body back will require great power though, but a philosophers stone won't do the trick.'

'We know.' Ed didn't sound angry when he said that, he didn't snap at me, it was a subdued, solemn tone. 'Do you know what it takes to make a philosophers stone?'

I shook my head. I had no clue back then of the horrors it took to make a tiny stone like that.

'It takes the souls of countless people.' I felt the tension in the room. Ed's voice brought silence. 'I can't bring myself to kill so many for something that may not even work. I don't think I could kill anyone unless they were trying to kill me and only then would it be an accident.'

'What.' My voice bounced of the walls. I could feel the sadness echoing through every corner.

'Now that's over. (Y/n), make Al happy, ok?' Ed looked at me, eyes filled with tears, anger drilling into his brain. 'You said that's how you'd help. So please.'

I promised to make him smile...

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End of Chapter 18 (this one got pretty fluffy!! I wanted to add the actual 'Alphonse x reader' thing and actually get to the good stuff after 16 chapters so sorry if this escalated quickly :p)
IMPORTANT QUESTION
Which route should I go for, Fullmetal Alchemist or Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood.
This will effect the plot and characters. In honesty I believe brotherhood has a better ending for the story and some more fun characters ( Ling, May[love rival??]) but I want to get a readers opinion. The ending would be sad for fma since Al would be a kid and no pedophilia here but for fmab there could be a longer story. Who knows I could write both endings maybe make another book with the same staring chapters then change direction.
Thx again for reading!