My Past (Alphonse X reader)

Happiness

My turn to make him happy. I had no clue how to do it then, how to make him happy.

'Al, you don't need a body to be human or warm to anyone else.' I looked straight at him as I walked towards where he perched on a chair. 'Whenever you hold me and comfort me, all I could feel was how warm and kind you were.'

'Thank you.' I still looked at Al, his eyes stayed dull and lifeless.

'You're the only person who's made me this comfortable. Really!' The truth was spilling out. Control gone, words continuing to flow, fear I would say something wrong. 'I never thought I could feel like this about someone. I never thought I could be comforted so easily. Please just be happy!'

I knelt at Al's feet, staring into his eyes as they stared back with a solemn expression. I rested my hands on his as they rested on the chair beside him.

'Al.' I stood up slightly and leaned over Al, my head placed against his. 'Just hold on a little long. I'll do whatever you need, I swear.'

'(Y/n), I just wish I could feel your warmth.' Al wrapped his arms around my waist, wanting to cry. 'I want to show emotion, I just want to be me again.'

'Really? You don't think you're you now?' I moved my head off of his and we looked at each other. 'Who are you then? Who's the person that has been comforting me and making me smile? Who saved me the first time we met out of the care in your heart? You.'

Finally Al's eyes brightened as he heard the words I spoke. I broke through to him and he finally realised what I said and how I cared about how he cared.

'Thank you.' Al's expression had lightened up, I'm sure he would have smiled.

'Ed.' My turn to make Ed happy now. Al slid his hands off of me. 'You're doing the best you can, it's amazing how brave you are and how you are so determined. I wish I was like you.'

'(Y/n), you made Al happy that's all you need to do, ok?' Ed's eyes contained a sea of sadness, more then I thought was possible. They contained anger too.

'I want to make you happy too.' I placed my hand on his shoulder. 'How can we be happy if you're upset?'

'I don't deserve to be happy.' Ed finally looked back at me, that anger was reflected at himself. 'It was my selfish needs that brought Al into this. All I wanted was to go back to what we had. Sure I wanted him to live, but I didn't want to be alone.'

'Brother.' Al's voice contained shock and horror. 'You deserve to be happy. You saved me, you could have just-'

'NO I COULDN'T! I COULD NEVER HAVE JUST LEFT YOU TO DIE! I SCREAMED FOR THEM TO GIVE YOU BACK AND I'LL NEVER REGRET IT!' Ed finally exploded, I felt him push off my hand. I felt what Al felt when I pushed him off. 'YOU'RE ALL I HAVE I NEED YOU AL. I'M SO SORRY I SWEAR I'LL FIX THIS. You're suffering because of me.'

'Ed you're not alone.' I couldn't help but speak, I know I should have left it to Al, but I couldn't. 'You have Al, Winry, Roy, Riza, Armstrong, Jean and me. You'll never be alone.'

'She's right Brother. We're not going to leave you.' Al now walked up to Ed, holding him tight. 'It's not your fault, we did it together. We were just stupid kids then.'

'I'm sorry Al.' Ed cried into Al's chest. I knew how much they cared for each other, I selfishly cried to them about my every problem, but now I see how much they're hurting.

'Now let's talk about getting you guys closer to your goal.' We all had forgotten that Roy existed at this point. He had quietly observed us all this time. 'Got any leads?'

'None.' Ed looked at Roy, he had a mischievous look. 'Just give us a job.'

'Ed. I know you're loyal, but.' Roy spoke as if he had seen Ed at his worst, 'you'll end up doing something else anyway.'

'I have an idea.' My voice was higher pitched than usual, no clue why, my posture had changed dramatically too. 'I read a news article a while ago, it was probably old though.'

'What was it about?' Al shocked me, he crept up behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder. I felt all warm inside.

'It was about a chimera.' Ed's face shifted dramatically, 'the first talking one I think. Maybe talking to the person who created the chimera could help. They created life in a way, so why not try it.'

'He's dead.' Ed turned to me, regret fell upon me. 'His chimera was made from his wife. He made another one too. He used his daughter and dog, they spoke too. It was horrible.'

'What.' I stared at Ed, Al's grip tightening on my shoulder. 'Forget I said it, please smile again.'

'It's in the past. We couldn't save her.' Al still remained silent, his hand the only communication we had. Ed still stared at the floor, speaking with remorse. 'I won't let anyone do that again.'

'Ed, don't say things like that.' Roy was the much needed voice. 'You can't save everyone. Your promise should be to try your hardest too, that's something you can keep.'

Ed smiled a little, Al's hand loosened on my shoulder.

'Can someone define happiness.' Out of control, instead of a voice telling me to say it, the voice said it out of my mouth. 'Is it possible to define it.'

'Happiness is a feeling, it's hard to define. I bet someone has though.' Al finally spoke after his long silence, it worried me that he didn't speak before, I wondered if I'd hurt him. 'Happiness makes you feel good. That's the best I can think of.'

'That's nice.' I stared up at the ceiling as I said these words, I was afraid of how I looked. I was afraid of what I would say, I was afraid of Al thinking I was weird, I didn't want to loose him. 'What about friendship. Can you define that?'

As I said that the thoughts rushed through me, was I really trying to find out what friendship was, of course not. I wanted to know if Al and I were just friends.

Air trapped itself in my throat, silence suspended this moment...

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End of Chapter 19
(Thanks for reading! I went with brotherhood, I haven't watched it in a while so I had to figure out where I was, though I probably will mess up the timeline a bit. Hope you enjoyed it!)