My Past (Alphonse X reader)

Torture

My eyes fluttered closed. Not even under my sheets. A calm sense of tiredness had been draped over me, I felt able to sleep, to have a small break. Seconds into my sleep it happened. I was running, running through the memories I had. It had been a week since I told Roy I wasn't ok, well I only said no to his question. Every night I would cry, drenched in sweat and fear, but sometimes it was so much worse. Roy woke me and held me every night, I can only imagine what he thought of me.

This nightmare was the worst, or was it just a dream. How can you tell if it's a dream or not, when I can't even tell if I'm awake or asleep. I was surrounded by memories, yet again all that loomed above was dark, happy memories turned into pure sadness. This time I could remember vividly, each torturous memory stayed. My hand being severed, my shoulder sliced off, my foot sawed off. I could feel the pain of the moments, but this time the pain stayed. I was hurting as I went through the later memories. I felt as if I was bleeding out.

I was hurting so much, I could barely breath as I was thrown into the bright darkness. I lay in the vastness of the area, a door seated behind the white figure, this sparked a memory for me. I writhed in pain as the figure laughed at me.

'You never learn.' It's grin haunted my memories.

That's all it said, my eyes flickered open but I couldn't move, a light still on outside my room. This white figure followed me into my room, it felt as if my body was being held down, the figure sat beside my bed. It laughed at me, something flooded in through every crack. It stopped, the figure smiled wider as the thing opened thousands of eyes. My face scrunched up, my eyes closed tightly trying as hard as I could to block out the world.

'(Y/n)!' I felt hands lightly shaking me. 'Come on wake up!'

I opened my eyes fearfully, the voice sounded like Al's. It was and it wasn't, it was the human Al, frail with doughy eyes. Then it smiled, a twisted smile. The features melted away exposing the white figure. It's laugh filled the room, reverberating in my mind. All I could see was masses of bodies. They were all covered in blood, covered in cuts and bruises, some had chunks ripped out of their bodies. I saw Roy in the same state, I couldn't close my eyes to escape it, I couldn't move. Riza, Jean and the rest of Roy's team were all damaged the same. I could feel my heart pounding pleading for it to stop. Then Fu, Lan Fan, Ling and May Chang suffered the same fate, all of them lifeless. Alex Armstrong and his family, even Olivier, were all destroyed and ripped apart. Ed's auto mail had been completely ruined, the connectors had been ripped out. Lastly I saw Al, his armour was unrecognisable, the seal was destroyed. Next to it lied Al's body, he looked like he had been transmuted, his body was contorted in inhuman ways.

'Help me.' Al croaked out, but he didn't really speak, I could feel him saying it.

'(Y/n)!' I definitely felt hands that time, his hands warm against my skin. 'Come on! Don't do this! I'm here for you please wake up!'

My body jolted, my arms flung around Al's body, I felt him hugging back.

'I'm scared.' My whole body was shaking as Al tightly held me. 'Don't let me go.'

'I won't.' He perched at the edge of my bed, not breaking his grasp. 'What happened?'

'It was horrible.' I crawled up to Al so I was kneeling next to him, my forehead placed against his shoulder. 'I can't breath.'

'You can! You're safe now.' He stroked the back of my head, a warm sensation filled my sweat covered body. 'You're drenched, you should get changed.'

'Ok.' I spoke solemnly, not wanting to let go.

'I'll leave for a second, ok?' He looked down at me. 'When you're changed just call me.'

'Please don't leave!' I begged him, he looked awkwardly. 'I don't want to be alone.'

'How about I turn around then?' I slowly nodded, Al began to release me as he turned around.

I changed into my pyjamas, leaving the sweat covered clothes in a pile on the floor. I changed as quick as I could, staring at the wall in fear that the eyes would creep out of some crevice. Al faced away from me, I could feel his soul behind me, a weird comforting sensation came from his armour.

'Done.' Al turned back around as I spoke, I still faced the wall. 'Sorry.'

'Don't apologise, it's not your fault.' Al spoke softly. 'Come here.'

I walked over to Al, sitting awkwardly next to him, playing with my pyjamas. He put his arm around me, I rested my head on his shoulder. This warm sensation allowed tears to fall from my eyes. I began to cry heavily, my breathing hitched as I relived the feeling of looking at Al's bloodied body.

'Don't cry.' I grabbed onto Al tightly, yet again he stroked my head lightly, my body tensed up. 'Please (y/n).'

'Don't die.' I held on tighter to him, I could feel how shocked he was. 'I couldn't live if you weren't alive.'

'(Y/n),' he paused a moment, his words were muted, 'what made you even think of that?'

'Everyone was dead.' My sobs grew louder, I placed a hand on my mouth to muffle the noise. 'You were dead, all of you was dead.'

'I'm not going to die (y/n),' he placed his head on mine, 'I won't leave you I promise.'

'You asked me to help,' I was screaming out crying, 'but I couldn't.'

'(Y/n), it was just a nightmare.' He held on to me, warmth came from his armour. 'It can't hurt you out here.'

'I was awake. You stood next to me to help me! It was your body Al, but it wasn't you! My heart wanted to move but I was paralysed! I wanted to hug you and beg for you to hold me but my legs wouldn't move, I wanted to run,' I shouted into his armour, the words echoing off of him. 'It laughed at me! It laughed at my suffering! But if was your body and then it wasn't. I saw you next to your armour dead! I can't get it out of my head! It's torture to keep seeing it! You were all dead and I wasn't! I wanted to die!'

I heard a light knock on the door...

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End of Chapter 28
(Sorry I didn't post yesterday and that it's late today! I made this a bit fluffy to make up! Hope you enjoyed!)

(Possibly my favourite quote)