What Once Was A Dream

Chapter 12 / A Dream I Have To Throw Away

It's been a couple of days, I haven't talked to Danny, but Jack, Corbyn, Jonah and Zach have been over, so has Sa, But he has dance class today, he wants me to go with him but I don't know if I can. But I decide to go anyway, I had a shower which is very difficult, did my hair and picked out all my clothes. I ended up wearing high waisted shorts and a plain white tank top. The boys wanted to come with me for support so I said why not, Daniel isn't coming with us but his going to be there cause it's a hip hop class.

I get into my car corbyn gets in the front, jack in the passenger seat, Jonah sits one side of me and Zach sits on the other. We're meeting Sam there, it's going to be weird not being in the class dancing and not getting the tingle feeling I get or having butterflies in my stomach. I haven't talked to anyone from my dance classes either, I can't make myself do it, all me and them talk about is dance, so I have nothing to say to them anymore.

"You ready ?" Jack turns to ask me.

"No, but I don't have a choice right now, were all ready here." I get out of the car, grab my crutches and start walking into the building. Everybody turns to me, looking me up and down but stopping at my brace. Sympathy washes over them and sadness feels there eyes, I don't want there sympathy, I just want my life back.

"August your here." Sam walks over to me hugging me tightly.

"Hey"

"It's good to see you"

"You to, I've missed dancing with my partner " I smile.

"Me too, dancing with someone else doesn't feel right, especially Jess, it feels different"

"Jess replaced me for the end of year concert "

"She didn't tell you?"

"No, she didn't, she doesn't tell me anything, we don't talk anymore sam, only you do cause she's your girlfriend." I look down to him.

"Hey, she can never replace you, she can't pick up the steps " he lifts my chin.

"Thanks, hopefully I'll be back soon."

I say as he walks away and continues to stretch . I sit down, so does the boys cause class is starting. Then I see him standing in the front line ready to dance. He looks over to me as his smile fades, I would say mine faded away also but how can it when you never had one.

After the dance class ends, we all decided to stay.

"Have you ever thought about using your left leg to dance with"

"How can I Jonah when I can't use my right ."

"I mean, like build strength in your left leg and when you can dance again you can pick and choose I don't know."

"The most I could do is spin Jonah and someone will still have to hold me up and my leg"

"Lucky there's four of us "

"If only it was that easy Jack"

"We can try today, do you have your point shoes "

"I was only kidding, but There in the back of my car "

"We'll go get them "

Five minutes later, I have my point shoes on and Jonahs behind me for my support holding me and Corbyn holding my leg up and out as I spin. Honestly, I don't think this will work and is a stupid idea, but I'm willing to try anything. I tell Corbyn to lift my leg and start trying to spin, but it doesn't work and it's to hard. Zach hands me my crutches, I don't wanna try again, cause I know it won't work I sit down and start taking off my point shoes. I feel my eyes become blurry and I know tears are streaming down my face.

"We can try again later" Corbyn sits next to me.

"There is no later Bean."

"If we try"

"I just want everything to go back to the way it was, I want to be able to feel my feet blister when I break in New pointe shoes. I want to be able to feel the butterflies in the pit of my stomach just before I dance, but I can't and may never be able to again. I don't know who I am anymore dance is all I've known, dance is what put a smile on my face. We just looked like awhole bunch of idiots, I know your trying to help and I appreciate that. But we should just stop trying and I have to expect the fact that I'm no longer a dancer."

No one said anything after what I had to say, the only thing somoene said was that we should go, I agree with them. We all pack into the car and go home.

I sit on my bed looking up at all my dance trophies, posters, I don't look at them the same way I use to. I look at them now as a disappointment and what all what once was a dream. A dream that I have to throw away now. I get up, hobble over there and throw them off my shelf and watch them hit the floor, breaking apart piece by piece and I scream breaking out into tears. Ripping my posters down, my room becoming a mess and I'm glad I did it