What Once Was A Dream

Part 2- This Moment

"Why are you drinking your coffee in a travel mug "

"Makes me feel as though I've gone somewhere, not just got off the couch to the kitchen in my pjs."

"You know there's a coffee cart down in the centre of everything "

"Yeah but that means I have to go outside and I don't want to if I don't have to."

"You have class today "

"Cancelled and I don't have work so. The couch it is"

" You have to go outside breathe in fresh air, you can't keep doing this. Not over Daniel "

"I can open a window and this isn't about Danny....maybe a little, but that post on Instagram. Those comments, people toar me apart and blamed it on me. Say I was never good enough to be with him, how do you take that, people around here have been making side comments. Being fucking assholes thinking they know everything about our relationship because it was under a microscope in the public eye. Being seen as perfect, when it so obviously wasn't."

After that post there were already several news articles out about our split and why it happened. It's been about a week since he posted that photo, in these articles they have photos of him with another girl, trying to make it seem like something it isn't. It was Angelina, Daniels fucking best friend for god sakes, they make something out of nothing. But there are photos of a girl with him that I have no clue who she is, so but it's not any of my business anymore, he can do whatever he wants or whoever he wants. He is a free man, not like i held him back anyways.

"Sam is on his way to get you off that couch "

"I'll like to see him try " I know he'll pick me up and walk out the door with me in his shoulder, so I have to find someway to bolt myself down on the couch so he doesn't succeed.

Okay I was wrong , it didn't work, two seconds I was all good and then I lost the battle.

"Why are we in a the dance studio, I can't dance."

"I believe you can, but your to afraid to. I know there's still nerve damaged I get that, what about light work. I know you Aug, you miss dancing, I see you in class taping away to the beat of the music. Dance August dance." His sincere with his words, I know his right but there will always be that part of me that is scared. We've been through this before when I first came back to dancing, but I decided to walk away,

"I'll never be able to dance on the level that I did. I loved dancing the way I did, so much power and strength. Even though lifts terrified me it was the difficult ones that were the funniest. "

"I reckon you could get back there, maybe even be better " he hands me leggings, a sports bra and a pair of socks. Jordan packed me a bag for this occasion.

"Haven't worn these for awhile" I take out my pointe shoes, this takes me back to the time when the boys came up with the idiotic idea to try it get me to be able to turn.

"Have you ever thought about using your left leg to dance with"

"How can I Jonah when I can't use my right ."

"I mean, like build strength in your left leg and when you can dance again you can pick and choose I don't know."

"The most I could do is spin Jonah and someone will still have to hold me up and my leg"

"Lucky there's four of us "

"If only it was that easy Jack"

"We can try today, do you have your point shoes "

"I was only kidding, but There in the back of my car "

"We'll go get them " .

"We can try again later" Corbyn sits next to me.

"There is no later Bean."

"If we try"

"I just want everything to go back to the way it was, I want to be able to feel my feet blister when I break in New pointe shoes. I want to be able to feel the butterflies in the pit of my stomach just before I dance, but I can't and may never be able to again. I don't know who I am anymore dance is all I've known, dance is what put a smile on my face. We just looked like awhole bunch of idiots, I know your trying to help and I appreciate that. But we should just stop trying and I have to accept the fact that I'm no longer a dancer."

I was so frustrated in that moment, at myself, the boys I had a little bit of hope that it would work. Even though how stupid it was I still had hope. That day is a day when it contribute to the decision to walk away from it all. The friendship with the boys, dancing, walking away from myself even. You could say there was so much more happening then what was told back then, so many more struggles then there were happy moments. Many false truths and miss communications, you could say it was nothing but all a lie.

"Where did your mind go"

"Everywhere"

Sam walks up to me, cupping my face in his hands  and looks at me. A thing he use to do often when I wouldn't  believe in myself or I was saying something he didn't agree with.

"There are many hours in a day, and many days were your mined can go in a hour but you  have to focus your mind. Find that one thing that will anchor you in that moment to just live in it. Close your eyes and just remember the feeling, let it whisk you away and see what happens in that beautiful mind and body of yours, Aug."

"I'll go get changed "

Sam's pov

For August the last three years were not a cake walk, each day there was more pain each worst then the last. She would go from being in a full knee brace and crutches, to help ease the pain and there were days she didn't need it. Our relationship has meneded itself after everything that happens with Jess . Who we both cut ties with, we were still friends but it wasn't blue sky's. She defined the urge to dance for a long time and I hope this is the time she caves and just lets it all go. Your probably so sick of all this dance talk.

"Okay I'm ready "

As she danced it's like the last three years have never happened, all her pain faded away and she lost herself. In her movement and facial expression, imagine the most heartbreaking moment and a extraordinary dance all in one. Such clean lines and the natural flow of her body throughout the song, the fire relighting itself in the pit of her stomach to let this very moment happen. August now has returned to herself, her true self. I took advantage of this and recorded it for her to realise that she doesn't have to reinvent everything surrounding her life. That she can again turn to dance as her escape instead of be burdened by it. That this is the moment that took three years to come by, that sticking it out allowed her this moment.