What Once Was A Dream

Part 2- Trust Me

I couldn't believe what I did, mad and angry don't even describe how I feel about myself right now. Ashamed, disappointed who knows but I don't feel great. I fucked up and I did something i regret, what makes it worst is the boys know, as well as Daniel. What way can this possibly be fixed. He sent me a letter saying that what happened was fine and what did happen he didn't not enjoy. With a lot of sweet words and meaningful things but I can't get past the fact that I nearly slept with my ex boyfriend bandmate. I will not be know as the girl who slept around with why don't we, no matter how much I would want to let myself be with Jonah in that way. I know I wouldn't actually sleep around the whole band twos enough but it's just that label. Without all the facts and completely understanding what's going on. I'm not wanting to be the next girl they wrote about for one of their songs, it would be funny if I was but read to much into by the rest of the world. It's also being in a public relationship, under a microscope, every move is judged and criticised. Life will never be normal, another thing I have to expect.

I'm contemplating on going to the boys show tonight, Jordan says to go and not tell them. Just stand in the audience and blend in. And try not to make eye contact with anyone of them. It's to save all of us the awkwardness, as well as the not knowing what to say to eachother. We'll see how long that last, knowing the boys probably not that long. I still have the option not to go, it's looking like a good choice. Why do I have to be such an indecisive person.

Third pov
A tall, blue eyed boy stands outside the dorm room door of miss August wood. Wanting to talk about.....well everything. August not expecting nor wanting this she opens the door as one would, when you hear someone knocking. To her dismay her somewhat smile fades away, a frown replacing it.

"Can we talk?"

"Do I have choice" she looks down and avoids any and all eye contact

"I would say no, but you always have a choice "

In these small moments between them, Auggie always sees that the old Danny is shinning through. Which makes her heart flutter but break as she feels herself falling back into a trap. Of what to do and what not to do, Daniel will always have a hold over August the pair knowing it, as it was the same for Daniel. First loves never fade away easily and no one said about it being painless either. Standing infront of the short and brown haired girl for Daniel was a reminder of what he had and what he lost. It reminded him of the first time they met when she was standing in front of him, three years ago. Oh how things have changed, they both reminisce.

"What do you want to talk about "

"How I've been a fool, how badly I fucked up" Daniel rarely ever swore and when he did you know he meant it.

" you did more to me then anyone ever could in the next five years. A life changing injury, a forever distrusting and a small part of my heart missing. You let me sleep with you, even though you knew very well what you did. And I don't think you would have ever told me, and who god knows what you've been up to since."

His next few words would have to be thought about carefully and consider all sides of what August has to say. Because one wrong move and it will be checkmate. Game over.

"Words will never express how sorry I am but I'll try. I tell you I did it because I missed you and it was my way to escape. That's true but also a lot of the time I was either drunk or just tired. But theres that part of me that wanted to. " Any of this was not helping the conversation and brought himself closer to the game being over .