What Once Was A Dream

Tragedy Strikes part 2 out of 4

Seeing them, Laying there the way they are. Jonah beaten up more then the others, they put him into an induced coma and they don't know when they will wake him up, if he can breath on his own or if his gone for good. It's scary to think about, the possibility of losing one of them. Of course I was going to be here, every doctors appointment, every time I was rushed to hospital, all five of them were there with me. Of course I'm going to be here for them, Christina was on her way to come visit me when she heard the news, so she rushed over to the hospital when she found out, their parents are all here. It's serious, which scares me, Daniel hit his head as the bus flipped over several times. He suffered some memory loss, he doesnt remember the last couple of years, including our relationship, to the fullest extent, as much as I shouldn't say this, it hurts him not remembering, because I do, I remember it all. The way he kissed me, the way he would lift my chin, when I was sad and kiss my forehead. Our conversations, all the pain. Everything, I remember everything. Some may say it's a fresh start I wanted, not like this though. I can't start fresh . Jack, Corbyn and Zach have a couple of bruised ribs, Corbyn broke his leg, Zach his arm and Jack didn't break anything there all just very banged up and bruised.

"Auggie. " Noodle mange's to say.

" I would ask how your doing, but I think I would already know the answer." He could tell I had been crying, out of worry and overall fear.

" come here " Jack moves aside in his hospital bed so I can sit with him. I lay my head on his shoulder, the other three are sleeping, something Jack should be doing but he couldn't, he said every time he closes his eyes he just remembers the accident.

"Not to make everything about me, but I couldn't sleep for awhile either after my accident. I couldn't get comfortable and I all I would see and hear when I closed my eyes. Was the sound of my back cracking when I hit the ground and the glass, Daniel screaming my name, the horse rearing and coming down on me. It happened so fast."

I could see it I'm his eyes, that he knew what I meant

"I just remember being thrown around in the bus, one second we were all sitting in the back and then we weren't. I was fully aware of what happened, I could see the boys and the driver, Tyler, everyone but I couldn't see Jonah. He ended up being pushed out the open window."

I could picture what he was describing to me in my head, how it must have felt, to see .

"Don't leave me, well at least until I fall asleep. If I do " he says with sadness in his voice.

" I won't noodle "

Jack and I's friendship wasn't like this , talking the way we are, head on shoulders, normally it was filled with jokes and laughter, but this is a side of him I haven't seen. So serious and filled with despair, it's not time for jokes. And I would never make them.

"He hated the way you two left things, but he won't say what happened"

" it wasn't good,  let's just leave it at that"

"His in love with you"

" And I'm in love with him, but I can't be with him " I look away from him,when I say this.

"Daniel ?"

"No, sometimes. I wonder what would have happened but now I would like to know what's going to happen with Jonah. But I'm pretty sure I fucked it up. "

"You told him you didn't want a relationship didn't you "

"Yeah"

"To protect your heart "

"Are you reading my mind "

"No, but I know you Auggie ,you always do the right thing for everyone "

"No I don't "

Sydney walks in

"I'll leave you to alone "

I walk out of Jack's room and as I walk down the hall Jonah's room is at the very end. His family is in there. His mum holding his hand as he just lies there, so life less, I don't go in, I want to let them be. Christina showed up, she's with Corbyn and his family. Zach and Danny as well. I sit in the waiting room, knees to my chest and I put head phones in and wait. I'm not sure how long I was there, but I ended up falling asleep, Christina comes out to me and wakes me up.

"Corbyn and Daniel are awake, Zach's still sleeping. "

"How are you holding up?"

"It felt like my heart stoped, and just sank "

"I ran halfway here. I couldn't breathe. So many things were running through my head"

"Everyone is heading home, to get some sleep they will be back in the morning. If you want to go in and see Jonah. "

"I don't know if I can"

"Do you want me to come?"

"Yeah" that's all I could mange to say.

I can feel my pulse rise, I'm trying to brace myself for what I'm going to see, knowing it's not going to be the Jonah I know, sweet smile, a jawline that will cut you. But bruises and cuts, some that may scar. Christina holds my hand as if we were a couple. Inhale and exhale. thats what I try to tell myself, breathe.

When I walk in, Well the only way I can explain it is, close your eyes, image someone you know and then picture someone your familiar with but not close with. Now mash them together and you get a total stranger, with a few similarities. That's what Jonah looks like to me, I know it's him, but at the same time it doesn't feel like the same Jonah. His lip is busted, black eyes, gashes large and small on his arms and face. Some look as if they run deep. I ask why and how did this happen but Jack already told me how. No one may never know why this happened in the first place.

"God" that's all I could manage to say.

"I didn't expect this "

"Me neither "

The hot clear  flow of tears streamed down my face, I wanted to drop down onto my knees, and sob. Christina wouldn't let me, she made sure I got to the chair before anything else. I told I would be okay, if she wanted to go back to Corbyn, she asked me if I was sure and I was. When she left I sat there in silence, unsure of what to say, if he could hear me. I know if I spoke I wasn't going to get an answer, which made me feel weird as if I've gone off my rocker. Just talking to myself, trying to have a conversation with someone who's unconscious. But I start talking.

"Out of all the messed up things in this world, why did this have to happen. What did any of you do to deserve this. Is it from loving me, when I had no clue what I wanted. Or just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I love you and I'm sorry it took me so long to realise it. And now you might not ever say it back or say anything for a matter of fact. I know I should be thinking positively but it's hard. Now we just have to wait" I take his hand and just rumb my finger across it and hope he gets better, we all want him to get better.