Snag Reads Her Old Fanfiction

Chapter 3- I am Your Mentor Now.

These titles are just spoilers for chapters omg.

The ice- blue eyed cat stepped out of the brambles, his whiskers twitching.

"Finchspots," He repeated himself for the second time. "What's going on over here?"

"I- uh..." Finchspots stammered, for once not looking crazy, but more... mortally terrified. "I- uh... was having a little fun with the new cat...?" Finchspots took a tiny, frightened step back, her terrified gaze locked on him.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

He then turned his icy blue stare on Embersoar, glancing at her bloody, injured paw.
Seriously this grammar is angering me

"Fun?" He asked, sounding like the dominant cat there. "Fun? You weren't fighting the newcomers again, where you, Finchspots?"
Take a wild guess

Finchspots ducked her head to the side to hide her torn ear, but it was too late. The cat had already seen.
U dead now

"Finchspots!" He yowled, startling Embersoar into hopping off the ground for a second, sending a sharp pain through her injured paw.
If you startle this easy you should probably work on that

He had seem cool, calm and controlled at first, but now, he was losing it."What have I told you about fighting the newcomers?!"
All this is happening as said newcomer watches.

"Oh, Dragonclaw, please..." Finchspots whimpered, shrinking back the rest of the way so her muddy, ruffled back was scraping against the scary looking thorns. "You said that you would move me down five ranks... but-"
This is useless filler dialogue and I'm cringing so hard .
Also, Dragonclaw???

"You knew the punishment, yet you ignored every warning I gave you!" Dragonclaw interrupted.
Well at least we know who's alpha male here

Dragonclaw? Embersoar thought, staring at the handsome, muscular tom. That's... different... but it suits him. I like it!
No Embers don't

Dragonclaw was a pale brown tabby tom with dark brown stripes, and he had the deepest, most electrifying icy blue eyes you would ever see on any cat. Ever.
Ever.

Embersoar watched as Dragonclaw scolded Finchspots so harshly, Finchspots ran away whimpering with a fresh, bloody scratch on her already scarred muzzle. He's so tough!
Embers stop

Then, Dragonclaw turned towards her.
Oh hi

Already, Embersoar felt lost in the depths of his icy blue gaze.
Embers I swear to god

"And, whats your name?" Dragonclaw asked gruffly, but softer then how he spoke to Finchspots.
I swear

"E-Embersoar..." Embersoar mewed, quickly feeling self- conscious about how weak and lost she sounded.
If you even dare fall for this boob

"Hm. Nice name." He meowed, his voice loosing some tension. "I am Dragonclaw. I am your mentor now.
Mentor?
Oh god

"Mentor for what?" Embersoar asked, her jet- black pelt tingling with curiosity.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"Your basic training." He answered shortly, as if there was more behind 'basic training' than what meets the eye.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Embersoar didn't care. All she wanted to do was sit, look into his eyes, and listen to him talk forever. Do I like him?
This is what I'm trying to warn to you about

No. That wasn't possible. She had just woken up in a strange dark place with cats fighting and taunting her all the time, and she already had a crush on some cat? Impossible.
Exactly. Turn around and walk away

But, as she stared into his deep icy blue gaze, she had to ask herself that question again.
Don't

Do I like him?
Okay this may just be me hating romance but this entire ship I was trying to create is pure concentrated cringe