Black Rose

Chapter Twenty

Rosalie's POV

    I wish I could go back to forgetting. ECT was always the worst torture I have gone through. The pain is one thing, but the memory loss is the real torture. Everything could be fine for months, maybe even years. Then memories come back, one snippet at a time. Good or bad, they blindside you. This memory was one of my worsts.

    Mr. J just held me not expecting me to elaborate and looking nervous that I would break down again. He just held and rubbed me. I am so incredibly thankful for this man and the gentle moments he bestows on me. I want to tell him, but it would break his gentleness. He will get angry and throw things probably for a few hours. Like a coward, I enjoyed the comfort and gentleness for a few moments.

    Finally I started to tell him, but I couldn't look at him. I just looked down on my lap, his arms still enclosing me tightly to him. "Here is the full story; Once upon a time, there was this girl who loved this man. He was older than her and married. She could tell he did not really love his wife. One day, his wife betrayed him and he told the girl he loved her. The girl's dream was finally coming true. They shared a night of passion. The man promised a future and happiness together and the girl could not have been more happier."

    I was frustrated that I could not put a name or face to him and my anger was in my tone as I continued. "He left her and never came back. Thoroughly breaking her heart. About a month later, she found out she was carrying his child. Unfortunately, her dark and twisted family found out when she was 8 weeks along. They bribed her to get rid of the child, they threatened her, and finally they gave up. They surprisingly let her go alone to a doctor's appointment which is strange since the NEVER let her be alone." My anger was rising and my tone was sharp. Mr. J had become unusually still.

    I switched the pretense since I was becoming lost in the story and unable to distance myself. "I was attacked by surprise. He drugged me, knocking me out. I woke up and was tied up in a dark shed and naked. He raped me, over and over for three days. The first day was just rape. The second was rape and cutting me with his knife. He left my face alone saying he wanted to keep it pretty. The third day is where he stabbed me in my lower abdomen, over and over. The doctors told me it was thirteen deep stab wounds." I could tell J was trying to stay calm and having a hard time, anger was radiating off him and he was shaking. His grip on me would have been uncomfortable if I could feel anything.

    "As I was about to bleed out, my brothers arrived. One shot the guy several times, the other untied me. They rushed me to the hospital. My family acted all concerned, even pretended to mourn for the baby I had lost somewhere during the three days, They only seemed genuinely mad when they saw I had been mutilated and my body was no longer 'perfect'. Even more mad when they found out the bastard prevented me from having children in the future. My grandfather was the only one who seemed genuine about the whole thing. I suspect my mother was the mastermind behind it and kept my grandfather out of the loop." Just remembering what they did made me ill. Mr. J sat me gently on the bed and started pacing.

    I continued. "They underestimated how smart I was. My grandfather figured it out too and he never looked at me the same. Always a look of pity or maybe regret? Anyways, I plotted. I became the fucking best. Everything my family wanted and more. I took the cue to leave like I told you when they started planning an arranged marriage. You know the rest from there."

    Mr. J paced for awhile before he talked "Did the scientist heal all the scars?" his voice sounded hoarse and brittle. I could see his control slipping so I reached out for his hand and rubbed circles on it with my thumb.

    "Kind of, they created the purple energy power. When It was first activated, I caused a big explosion killing three scientist. I woke up and my skin was all healed. Apparently it healed the damage done of the inside too." I smiled at the last part.

    He was about to lose his shit and I could see it. "I have some work to do today but do you want to have dinner by 8?" His response surprised me. I was happy he wasn't flipping shit but I was kind of hurt, I poured my heart out and I don't even get a reaction. He saw the hurt on my face and quickly turned and walked out, not even waiting for my answer.

    I laid on the bed and cried for awhile. I cried for the baby I lost, for the painfully returned bad memory, for my family's rejection, for the Joker's cold response, and for these god damn hormones. I felt around for people. The higher ranked and more trusted henchmen were provided with injections so I couldn't feel them. I could feel the lower ranked ones in J's conference room along with him.

    I went to the kitchen and made sure I had everything I needed for tonight's dinner and I prepared it all so that all I had to do was throw it in the oven later. With that done, I decided to relax for the day. I took a long bath, wore yoga shorts and a sweatshirt and watched movies. Mr. J never came to check on me like he does most days he works at home and that made me sad, he is in the house and yet stays away from me. I cried a bit more until it was time to finish dinner and I went down and prepped it all.

    He didn't come to dinner. I thought about marching to his office and giving him a piece of my mind. I was furious. What the hell did I do to him? I opened up to him and this is how he treats me. I needed fresh air. I went outside and breathed in the crisp night air.