no savior.

no life

Three months earlier...

KJ's POV

"Kaylie?" my brother shakes me gently. Five years ago he demanded I get off his sleeper sofa and go to college. And now here I was, on his sleeper sofa, but now featuring student debt and an advanced degree.

I groan and peel my eyes open, "What is it?"

"You have a friend here," he places a mug of coffee on the night stand. Now you're speaking my language. 

I crawl out of bed and grab my coffee, heading out onto the deck. I see the back of a familiar buzzed hair.

"Hey Kid," I greet the silhouette as he stands to his true height of over six feet and turns to be, revealing his handsome face and sharp jaw, dark stubble all around.

"Morning, Baby Girl," he kisses my cheek and hugs me. It's been roughly a month since I've seen him.

"SO this is where you holed up after graduation, huh?" he looks around, "Cali. Not bad."

"It's my brother's place," I take a seat on the porch swing, and he takes his place on the table in front of it.

"Why are you here, Vinny?"

"I'm moving back to St. Louis," he says, "And I think you should come with me."

"Excuse me?" I'm not upset per say, just surprised, "Why?"

"You literally aren't doing a damn thing here? It isn't why should you come with me-- It's why would you want to stay here?"

I laugh dryly, "It isn't that I want to stay here," I lean in, "It's more like why would I want to go anywhere with you Vinson Matthews?"

"You aren't still mad are you, Baby Girl?" He leans in, taking my hand, "You know that I'm right."

"I know you're a pretentiously cocky bastard," I reply.

"That's not you were calling me when you were sucking my dick," he quips. I snatch my hand back and stand.

"Okay welp that was nice seeing you again now please leave," Grab my coffee and he grabs my wrist, "What's wrong KJ? Can't take what you constantly dish out?"

I turn and look into his swirling green eyes, "You are an absolute piece of shit, Vinson Matthews and I'll be happy to never see you again. Take that."

He recoils and I head back into the house.

"Are you okay?" Karry asks as I pass by. I don't respond, instead heading to my room.

"Fine," I mutter in passing, "Make sure you show my guest out."

I scream into mattress back in my room, frustrated at the array of emotions brought up by Vin's visit.

I hate him I think. Under all the terrible, awful, thick layers of love.

***

I'm stretched out in bed, head in a book, when there's a soft knock on the door. "Yes?"

A curly haired boy attacks me, "KJ!"

My nephew, a mess of soft dark curls and caramel skin, jumps onto my bed, a four year old ball of energy. He'll be starting school soon, which is absolutely terrifying. I can already predict the phone calls my brother will be getting.

"Hey Andrew," I ruffle his hair and he swats my hand away. "Stooop!"

"Keep going?" I tickle him and he laughs, "KJJJJJJ!"

I release him and he wraps his arms around me, settling in, "I missed you."

"I never left?" I question, "What do you mean?"

"Sometimes you're here.... but not really," he explains, "I miss you being here here."

Great. My nephew has caught onto my depression symptoms. Fun times over here in the Parker household.

"Well I'm here now," I kiss his forehead, "Want me to read to you?"

He nods and I start reading an excerpt out one of my favorite YA novels, Enclave.

"Hey," Karry enters after about an hour of me reading, "Spending good old quality time with KJ?" Andrew nods and Karry glances at the book, me, and his son, before frowning.

"Andrew do you mind giving your aunt and I some time alone?"

"Yes, Daddy," Andrew crawls out from my arms and exits.

I close my book and sit up, "Next time I have guests, assume I don't want them, okay?"

"What happened out there, kid?" Karry sits down, "I thought he was a friend? He told me you lived with him all four years of college? Why am I just now finding out about this? And who the hell was living in that dorm I was paying for the first year?"

"Okay pause," I exhale, "If I'm being one hundred percent honest right now I met Vinson once I went back to school and for a while-- I was totally staying in my dorm--- but then I moved out. None of your money was wasted promise."

"Okay... So if you two are cool anymore why did he show up here?"

"I don't know," I shrug, "He wants me to go back to St. Louis with him."

"And what did you say?"

"I told him to shove it. Obviously," I notice a shift in Karry's face, "Oh my God... You think I should go?"

"Don't get mad--"

"Why would I get mad? My own brother is trying to ship me off to another state! Again!" My brain automatically reverts back to how I ended up in Karry's care in the first place, my father's painful words resurfacing in my memory.

"Kaylie it's not about that and you know it!" he snatches my book from me, "How many times have you read this book?"

"Why does that matter?" I get defensive.

"Because every time you read YA its because you're sad! Look at you! You aren't doing anything with your life right now! Maybe its about time you go home. It's better than sleeping on your brother's sleeper sofa."

Home. Could I really consider St. Louis home considering I'd been all but barred from the lives of just about everyone I cared about who still lived there?

Karry senses my hesitation and continues, "I know. I know. But think of it has a fresh start!"

I stand up and slip my feet into a trusted pair of Nikes.

"Where are you going now!"

My heat hit the hot Cali sun baked ground and I automatically feel like I've climbed my way into the Devil's ass crack.  Still, I take off running, determined to get some alone time, whether it kills me or not.

I leave the base and jog down the main road, reaching the diner that Saide used to waitress at, but now owns.  I remember when I first met her. How I was consumed in my relationship. How here in Cali was the first time I decided to get my life together and stop being such a shitty ass girlfriend.

How I did all of that and still lost her anyway.

I miss a step, my attention diverted from my running, and fall. I catch myself and stand, but now that I've stopped running, I realize that I'm tired. And it's hot. I head into the diner, a sweaty mess, and, grab a seat at the bar, next to a familiar douche wagon.

"Hey," I don't even look at him, "I have a proposition."

"I'm listening," he takes a sip from his coffee.