no savior.

no(t) a date

Dear Kaylie Jane,

    Everything you are--- I made you. How you flirt. How you kiss. How you fuck. How you love.

    I taught you that. It was me. I gave you everything, Kaylie Jane. What did you give me?

KJ's POV

The Friday of Layne and I's get together I can't fight off the anxiety building in my stomach. Calm down. Calm down. I remind myself not to flip out. It's not even a date.

I stop home after work, changing out of my work clothes into a cuffed, short sleeve shirt and light wash skinny jeans. I fiddle with the buttons, debating whether or not to have them all buttoned or leave the top ones undone, revealing a hint of my cleavage. In one scenario I look hella gay. In the other I look hella gay--- But I have titties. KJ calm down. It's not even a real date.

I pause in the mirror to check how I look, my eyes falling to my half sleeve of tattoos. Because of my job I've kept them covered most of the time, but now I didn't mind. That arm was worth almost five thousand dollars. I had one to represent every mistake that made me. It was permanently etched into my skin.

Every time I looked at the partial sleeve I got chills. Each one meant a lot to me. But each one held a little bit of my pain. I love my tattoos, but I was getting tired of adding to them. Pretty soon I was going to have to move on to a new arm. Then again, my most recent one was over a year ago, so this had to be progress.

"Looking good," Vin is suddenly behind me, his arms slithering around my waist. He bends and peppers my neck with kisses, "Who you got your titties out for, baby girl?"

"Vinson." My voice comes out with an implied warning.

"What? I kidding..." he pulls away, and looks into the mirror, "What's wrong?"

I bite my lip, debating whether or not to tell him.

"You promised me no bullshit," he reminds me.

I exhale, "I'm going on a date with Layne."

"A date?"

"Okay so not a date----"

"If it's not a date why did you just call it that?" he cuts me off.

"This is why I wasn't gonna tell you!" I walk out the room, headed to the front door, "You aren't even letting me explain."

"Do I need you to?" he follows me down the steps.

"No. You don't need me to," I grab my blue slip on vans and sit down to put them on, "I'm not dating you and I'm not fucking her so no I don't need to explain!"

I exhale and I stand up, my voice returning to normal, "Have a nice night, Vinson."

I push past him headed to the door. "Wait," his voice halts me, "Can I have a goodnight kiss?"

I turn around. "Are you serious?" He nods. I roll my eyes and grab his shirt collar, pulling him to eye level, "Good night, Kid."

I kiss him briefly on the lips and pull away, "See you later."

"I'll be waiting," he shoots me a devilish smirk.

***

Even after all these years, I know the way to the Sinclair's apartment by heart. So many good times were had there. So many bad ones. I cut on the radio trying to silence my thoughts. However, as I approach her apartment my mind doesn't quiet.

"How'd you find me?" she asks me, pulling me back to Earth, "I never told you where I live."

"You told me when you were drunk. I grew up out here too so it wasn't hard to find," I reply.