The Show Must Go On

I Want it All

May 1989 Switzerland

My dad and Queen were eager to get back into the studio, today was going to be the day my dad let my uncles Roger,John, and Brian know of the news of him having AIDS, hence my dad had 100% trust in his secret and knew they wouldn't tell a soul, if it ment it being about my father Freddie Mercury. He lacked about telling my grandparents, his parents. If word got out he'd think he'd be a disappointment to my Judd and Juddah (my grandfather and grandmother from my dad's side obvi)

They were working on the Miracle this album was so diffrent from what they were used to putting out. My dad attitude was more diffrent, no more party lifestyle, but yet he still hung out with the same people. I watched if they suggested a party or drinks, alot of them didn't know yet of my dad illness and I wasn't going to have my father die on me before his due date 💔 I was protective so much of him. He grew a beard for the fact of him having sores on his chin and neck, everyone loved the look but didnt know the truth behind the look.

when The Miracle finally dropped Queen had a huge event, but no drinking well there was but not for these dad's, I took the responsibility of watching my cousins Jimmy, Felix, Louisa, Emily Ruth, Rory Eleanor, Robert, Michael, Laura, and Joshua. So many kids, but I loved each and everyone of them because I've watched them grow, i've been their cousin since the day they were born. Plus watching them all is never boring.

that night everyone went home, my dad and I were in his garden looking at the stars, "that one to the right is called the Alpha star.." We held eachother in our arms "you've been hanging around your uncle Brian too much" he laughed "well, just a little" i laughed too
it went quiet for a minute than he said "can people dedicated stars to someone, I'm wondering" i looked at him and said "you mean want a star named after you?" He shouted softly "you can do that?" i smirked and said "of course you can" i put my head on his shoulder "one day, one of those stars will be named after you, I'll make it my job, I promise" he was proud, I was proud.
he asked me "when I'm gone, I need you to promise me something.." i looked at him and said, "okay what is it?" He smiled and said "don't forget me, don't forget this moment, and most importantly don't forget who you are, Vanessa" i started to cry and he whiped my tears and said
"you need to be brave, for God's sake, Vanessa you are named after me, don't let anyone walk over you. I've been in this business to know not everyone is your friend. Stick to your gut, stick to people you know, and never I mean never let your guard down to this business.."