I'm still waiting

Chapter 8

Cecelia Clark~
To get away from all of the ruckus I walked into the band room. But when I got there it was a eerie feeling in the pit of my stomach. A feeling that couldn't really be explained.

Soon I saw the figure of a tall guy sitting behind the piano. He couldn't hide behind his shadow because Nobody could mistake him to be anyone else.
I heard him sniffling reciting words to a song named what's going on by Marvin Gaye. And then it happened.

He grabbed something out of the right side of his pocket. It was a black pistol that had a revolver he kept rotating it and reciting lyrics.
Is he crazy? I thought.

What could have been so bad about his life that would make him wanna take his life. My heart had now dropped to my stomach. I wanted to talk to him but I didn't really know how to approach him.

He lifted the gun even further and now it was at his temple. I walked a few steps closer and I guess he heard me because he turned around. The sound of my heels clicking didn't go unnoticed.

"Please... don't do this." I said softly putting my hands up in a cautious manner. He sniffled even more and snot came down his nose as I visualized his eyes blood shot red and tear stains down his cheeks.
"Tell me why I shouldn't do this?"
I had finally heard his voice expecting the nasal one he usually conversed in but instead I heard a deep hoarse voice.

"Because you have a family that loves you?" I could have hit myself in the head right then and there but I'm just not good with persuasion. He chuckled at me.

"Don't get me wrong I love my family but-"
"If you love them then why are you trying to kill yourself?" It makes no sense to me if a person truly loved the people around them like they say then how could they be so selfish?

"No one loves me,that's why. I'm doing everybody a favor I want be a burden for long."
He said in a cold tone.

"I don't know much about you but I know your brother loves you."
"TUH that nigga doesn't love me he just tolerates me. I'm sure when I finally leave from here he'll turn my room into a Poole room."

"Look I know we don't have the best terms of relationships you hate me and I hate you..."
he then looked up at me confused.
"And what I'm saying isn't helping is it?"

I chuckled. I'm probably making a fool of myself.
"Yea not really helping."
"You know what? I'm just going to say it you should not care about what people say or think of you. You have so much to live for." He saw that I looked at his paper and crumpled it.

"You have a gift I heard you play." I didn't know why I was smiling right now but he was smiling too and he took his shirt and rubbed the wetness from his tears off his eyes.
"Thanks." He said shyly. And then he grabbed my hand. "Thank you so much." He broke down in tears fiddling with my hands.

Something urged me so I pulled him into a hug. But instead my head was on his chest because of the height contrast even though we we were sitting down.
I patted his back and then we soon started talking for what seemed like 2 hours.
It was the longest I ever talked to him. And we finished he got up and put the gun back in pocket as I watched him cautiously. 
I kept looking at the crumpled letter he wrote that was on top of the piano.

He threw it away in the trash can and walked out the band room. We missed our 4th period class but neither of us cared. Shoot I was glad he didn't take his life. I walked my way to catch my ride with Whitley while he stopped by the lockers because his brother and friends was over there.

But not before he stopped me. "Cecelia?"

"Yes?" I blinked. "Can we keep this between us?" His teeth were embedded in his lip and you could tell that he had just finished crying.

"Of course." I said smiling awkwardly and then I left.

***
Days went by and I saw him every day. Sometimes we would sit at the same table because he had friends who were my friends and vice versa. "So what's going on?" Whitley shook me as I stared into space.
" nothing what you mean?" I said giving her a confused look. I knew she was going to see what was up with me sooner or later.

"You've been out of it lately. Did something happen? Wait are you pregnant?"

"Okay Whitley slow down." I said chuckling placing my hand over my head.
"No nothing like that I'm just kind of tired." I partly told the truth I was tired but I made a pact with a guy I didn't really like and it was killing me that I couldn't tell anyone especially my best friend.
"Then maybe you should just chill from all those tutoring appointments you've been taking." She suggested.
"Maybe."
"What are you starting at? Who's over there?" She kept sitting up looking at the direction I was looking in.
" no one whit okay, Dang." But that was definitely a lie. I was looking at Donald but I wasn't looking so much where he would catch me. "Dang someone has got your panties in the knot. You on your cycle girl? Cause I got some pads in the car."
I just shook my head at her I wasn't mad or anything I was just really irritated and felt strange.

All the guys walked over to Whitley and started talking to her. Dalvin hugged her and then Cedric did but he hugged her a little longer than the rest of the guys.

"Hey cece." Dalvin said and surprisingly giving me a hug. " you can say hey sometimes I know you hate my brother but dang I'm not him."
I laughed nervously. " you right." I said joking along with him. All the guys were talking to us except Donald who was sitting at the table where they left him.

He stared at me and I stared at him.
***