~Aubrey's POV~
I slowly sat up and groaned.
I heard Aubrey crying. Ever since we had gotten to Toronto it had been harder to take care of him. It may be because I was always thinking about Jordan, I barely got any sleep because of it. I was just worried, I thought over everything Mark and Ryan said.
I got out of bed and walked across the hall. As I opened the door, I was met with Aubrey's light cries. I walked over and picked him up.
"What's up little man?" I yawned. "It's only like 7, can't you sleep for a little longer?" He only blinked. "I guess that's a no?" I laughed and walked to the kitchen.
It may seem weird, but I knew Aubrey could always tell something was up with Jordan. He cried a lot around her and whenever they were alone Jordan always stressed.
I sighed as I pulled the bottle from the microwave. I walked to the couch and sat down. I brought the bottle to Aubrey's lips and his little hands reached up a little. I smiled, I really did love this kid. My mind drifted back to that third space me and Jordan shared just a few weeks ago.
It didn't make sense, she told me to take care of Aubrey. Did she know this was gonna happen? She also told me if someone better came along, to love them. I really didn't know what to think anymore. Was Jordan really okay? Better question, was I okay? My thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door.
I continued to feed Aubrey as I walked to the door. I didn't know who in the crew would be up this early, so I cautiously opened the door. Standing there was Ryan, in some sweatpants and a tee shirt. I opened the door for him to step in and he walked to the living room. I followed him and sat on the couch opposite of him. We sat in silence for a few moments until I spoke.
"Why are you up already?" I asked him, as I wiped some milk from Aubrey's chin. He shrugged.
"I wanna talk to you about something." He ran his fingers through his short hair.
"Shoot." I told him.
"Well you know me and Shay have been dating for awhile." I nodded. Shay had decided to come with us back to Toronto, until she had to go back to work. "Well uh, I was thinking about you know... asking her to marry me." I think I almost choked on my spit and dropped the baby when he said that.
"What?" I asked once I'd recovered.
"I wanna ask her." He repeated.
"Oh, I mean that's good." I looked at him. "I'll support you no matter what, but are you sure?"
"Yeah man, I mean I've know she's the one for awhile." He smiled. "I've gotta get a ring and plan how I wanna do it."
"Well that's good." I told him. I really wish I could be happy for him, but I can't. I was too stacked with my own guilt and pain to be happy. I reached over and placed the bottle on the table in front of me.
"Do you want me to watch him, I mean I can't sleep and I know you're tired." I nodded and passed Aubrey over. The whole crew had been helping me with the baby, they understood I wasn't over Jordan's situation yet and we were a family.
"Thank Ryan." I said.
"Anytime." He sat back and turned on the TV as I walked to my room. As I closed my eyes to go to sleep, my mind was filled with thoughts of Jordan.
~~~
~Jordan's POV~
I stood over the sink and stared at the pills.
I had been thinking about doing it for awhile, and went through this routine everyday since Aubrey left. I really didn't think it could get any worst, the feeling I had, but it did. I couldn't be happy, I felt like a barrier was blocking me from smiling and laughing.
I picked one pill up and swallowed it. Did I really wanna do this? Aubrey says I can get better but I don't think so. I picked up another pill and swallowed. My baby would grow up without a mom. I reached for another and hesitantly swallowed. I paused. I couldn't do this, I would be letting everyone down.
I ran my hands through my hair before reaching for another. My hands somehow ended up on my phone instead of a pill. Before I knew it my phone was ringing. I had tears threatening to leave my eyes.
"Hello?" He said in a raspy voice. I could tell I woken him up. "Jordan?" He asked. I didn't say anything, I was too scared. "Are you okay baby?" I almost broke down.
"I- I don't know Aubrey." I said as my tears left my eyes.
"What's wrong?" He asked. I sniffed before speaking.
"I need help." I admitted. "I need you." I begged him. "Please."
***
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~Keyanna
