The Sisterhood of Fangirls

Sienna's Spirit

 By Daughter_Of_War_CHB   

Falling into a coma. Yeah, not my smartest move. But, it was either that or letting Lucifer and a demon army rise because I couldn't calm down my sister. Well, I consider her my sister. Which scares me, more than you will ever know. For some reason, the broken heart and the words still written on my arm, so I was just casually wearing my jacket to cover it. Knowing you are broken in every sense of the word hurt, a lot more than the pain in my body. Mental pain hurts a lot more than physical pain, trust me.

The worst part about my comatose state was that my body was still there, lying almost lifelessly, and, yet, for some reason my consciousness was just floating around. I was invisible to all of them, and if I made any noise then nobody would hear me. My condition, I could both feel and see, was bordering on death and life, and death seemed to have the slightly stronger pull.

I could see every time Silver came in weeping, singing our song. It broke my heart, every time. Why did she blame herself? It wasn't her fault any of this happened! It wasn't her fault; Scarecrow was the one who injected her with fear toxin, and the one who set her off the edge. Lucifer was the one who was whispering sweet nothings in her ear and almost made her break the last seal, and I was the one who CHOSE to call on Gabriel, even though I knew the risks.

I watched as, at noon every day, Grayson would come in, his eyes red and puffy, nose stuffy, like he was trying to cry and failing miserably. He kept whispering about how he was sorry that he had ever judged me for how he treated me the day Klarion had, for lack of a better term, cursed us all to our secrets. How he wished he could take it all back. It brought me to tears every time, and it hurt. It really did. 

All of them were hurting, terribly. All because of ME. One lousy girl who literally fell up the stairs while holding onto the railing then complaining how we should have carpet the other day. I just didn't understand how they could be so upset. While I'm not depressed or anything, I know my place in the world. I'm just a crutch. I'm Silver's partner, the person she leans on for support, and comfort, and trust. She doesn't exactly NEED me, but she keeps me around solely because of how nice it feels to have someone to talk to. 

And I always listened. I listened when she poured her heart out over the time she spent with Jason, why she tried to commit suicide when we came here, all that. I may not be a therapist or anything, but I've come to know that just listening makes things that much easier. And so, being a ghost (I dunno what I am now, like, at all.), it really hurt me. I could only listen, and, while I felt that was my purpose, my voice mattered to me, a lot. 

That's how Silver knew I was listening. How she knew I was there. It reflected myself and my soul as much as my personality did. And just having to sit and watch as all these people, for some reason I'll need someone to explain to me later, it made me want to bang my head against the wall and scream, just so they could hear me. 

 Jason would come in and talk to me like I wasn't in a coma or anything like it, about his problems and how he didn't know quite how to talk to Silver, about anything really. How he didn't know how to approach her in a casual conversation, or how to approach her about my, uhh, current state, or just ranting in general. How he wasn't quite sure of himself. 

That he was almost positive he had grown to love Silver, and yet, he still couldn't help but fall for the thief that went by Kitsune, which he still didn't know was Silver. About how he was worried for Kitsune, because he hadn't seen her that recently, and, when he did she had been a lot more ruthless and a lot less playful. 

 Tim....Well, I haven't seen Tim. At all. My, uhh, essence is quarantined to the room my body is in, and not once has Tim come to visit me. I'd like to say that it didn't bother me, but that would be a complete lie. It broke my heart that he wouldn't even come to visit me.