Shattered (Continuation of: The Chase) ▹ Ashton Irwin

Chapter Fifteen

"Brooke-"

Ashton's alarming voice jolted me awake, causing my eyes to fly open and an empty gasp to run out my mouth. I looked to see only darkness around me, swarming and engulfing me until I was trapped. I sat up in pure confusion and fear, whipping my head from side to side in search of him. Only him.

"Ashton?" I called out, staggering to my knees ontop of the bed. It felt empty. "Ashton!" my voice cracked into a hoarse wail.

He was gone, wasn't he? I couldn't feel him in my presence, I couldn't reach out and hug him to me, maybe I couldn't even hear his faint voice as he said my name over and over again.

"Brooke," Ashton's voice grew louder, and the dizziness I didn't realize I had went away almost instantly as I felt his hands instantly grab my shoulders. "Brooke what the hell happened?"

"I don't- I can't..." I mumbled. It was maybe around 1 in the morning, and I had a nightmare. "Ashton-"

"You're sweating," Ashton sounded more scared than I was. "You-You're shaking, Brooke. What happened?"

"I don't know!" I cried out, shutting my eyes to force the tears down my cheeks. They were hot against my cold skin, and I began to shake more. "Th-there were... demons, a-and monsters and darkness and despair and-"

"Brooke," I heard Ashton's soft voice and my eyes opened to see him face to face with me. The bright moonlight that shone through the window made his wide eyes glow. I was imediately mesmerized by them, but my focus was drawn away when my vision became blurry again. Tears flowed out of my eyes, and I shut them. I tangled my fingers into my hair and shook my head, cursing to myself.

"Hey," Ashton said softly. I could feel him closer than before. "Brooke-"

Without really knowing it, I started to laugh. It wasn't the type of laugh I usually get when I'm with Ashton. Those laughs are full of joy and liveliness. This particular laugh was empty and quite sadening.

"I'm such a freak-" my words were cut off by another cold and hearltess laugh at myself. "I'm so fucking pathetic I can't even sleep at night!" I leaned back and held my hands over my stomach, now cracking up. The room was filled with my laughter, which only made it feel more empty. I'm not really sure what was so funny, but for some reason I laughed like a homeless man on crack.

"What?" Ashton breathed. I glanced at him briefly, and all I could focus on in those short moments were the horror in his eyes. Horror at me, probably.

"I don't fucking know!" I laughed again. 

"Brooke what the fuck," he said harshly. His harsh tone surprised me, and I quieted down. "What's so funny?"

"Me!" I started to laugh again. I laughed at my foolish and stupid self, who can't even get myself to sleep at night. And, the fact that I woke Ashton up again when I really shouldn't.

"Brooke stop." Ashton pleaded. His tone had shifted dramatically, and now it sounded as if it was full of despair. My laughter was ceased once again, and the pounding in my heart started to slow down. But, as it slowed down, it felt weak. It felt as if my heart was pumping air, rather than the blood in which I needed to live. With one second the room fell silent, and Ashton and I both stared at each other.

"I'm sorry," I finally cried out, feeling more tears brim my eyes. I let them fall down my cheeks as I wriggled in between Ashton's legs and crashed into him, forcing his warmth and comfort upon me. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry-"

"Brooke," Ashton said again, this time with a softer voice. His strong arms wrapped around me yet I couldn't get mine around him. I stayed as a crumpled up ball, hugging my knees and trying to bury myself as much as I could against his chest. I felt as if it was the only way to actually feel safe from every dark thought that pushed its way into my slumber.