✔️Heal My Heart {Kakashi Hatake}

69 | defying orders because thats how i roll

When we arrived back at the village, Kakashi forced everyone to go to the Hokage's office. Asuma had decided at the last second to tag along at the back of the group, but had asked for everyone's assurance that they'd stay with him.

Kakashi knocked politely on the door and waited for admission, something that I was certainly not used to doing. On too many occasions, I had been angry about something and just barged in through the door.

"Come in." The Hokage's voice sounded, and Kakashi pushed open the door to let everyone in. I noticed the Third scanning the whole group, and his face lit up and relaxed with such relief when he saw Asuma lagging at the back.

"Mission success with one major setback, sir."

"You found him." The Third sighed, then took a large puff on his pipe. "You were gone over a week, what happened?"

"We ran into Orochimaru and another S-ranked criminal, Sasori of the Red Sand. A fight ensued and Miyoshi and Garake were both left critically injured. We received aid from the monks of the Fire Temple to escape battle and recover our injured comrades."

"Orochimaru..." the Third mumbled, leaning back in his chair.

"There was something else, sir," Kakashi began hesitantly. "Orochimaru appears to have perfected the jutsu that allows him to control the dead, and we can now confirm that it is called the Reanimation Jutsu. It appears to be a Summoning, which means there must be a Summoning contract of some sort."

"So he did it again. Who did he Reanimate this time?"

Kakashi was silent. I glanced at him, and saw that through the mask he was glaring at the floor. He wasn't going to answer that question.

"The White Fang of the Leaf," I said, taking care to avoid saying Sakumo's name. Not everyone in the group knew that he was Kakashi's father. "It was a particularly difficult battle, especially since someone here refused to fight."

Kakashi glared at me, and his eyes seemed to be saying, you shouldn't have said that.

He needed to know, I responded with a defiant tilt of my chin.

"I see," the Hokage said slowly. "If that's all, I'd like to speak with Asuma alone."

"I'm afraid that won't be possible, sir." I cut in. "Asuma only agreed to return with us to Konoha on the terms that we would stand with him as friends, and that is what we intend to do." I removed my ANBU mask and dropped it to the floor, a sign that I would not heed his orders on this particular matter. I met the Hokage's bewildered gaze with all the determination I could muster. This was a battle that I would not back out of, no matter what. Friends will always come first. I heard Kakashi's mask clatter to the floor beside me.

"Friendship is the springtime of youth!" Guy declared.

"I'm not leaving," Kurenai piped up.

"Nor I," Teren put in.

"I'm staying right here!" Garake stamped one foot for emphasis.

"I'm certainly not going anywhere," Genma said calmly.

The Third sighed deeply, and the wrinkles in his face seemed more pronounced all of a sudden. "I understand. You're all dismissed."

As everyone filtered through the door and out into the hall, I picked up my mask and pushed through the small crowd to catch up with Asuma.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked.

"I am now." A smile had crept its way across his face. "Thanks for what you did."

"It was a joint effort," I said modestly. "But I'm glad you're alright. Regrettably, someone here isn't, so if you'll excuse me I need to go and sort out Kakashi's life problems again." I ducked away and hurried down the now almost deserted corridor to where Kakashi had replaced his ANBU mask, and was walking unhurriedly away with his hands in his pockets.

"Kakashi." I caught up to him quickly and walked alongside him.

"I wish you hadn't told the Hokage about that."

"He's the Hokage, Kashi. He needs to know this stuff."

"Why?" Kakashi countered. "It's not like I'm ever going to see him again, so it's not going to be a recurring issue."

"I know." I touched Kakashi's arm lightly, a gentle sign to let him know that I was on his side. "I'm just worried about you."

Kakashi's posture slumped, and his one normal eye lowered to the ground. Masks make it difficult to convey emotion, and Kakashi wore two, meaning it took a lot of knowledge of his body language to read him. Fortunately, I was fluent in Kakashi. He was saying, I know you're right, and I'm worried about you too, but I wish this didn't have to happen.

"Do you really hate your dad that much?" I asked quietly.

"I don't know," Kakashi replied honestly. "Sometimes I admire him for what he did - no one can deny that he was a great shinobi, arguably one of the best. Other times, it feels like he abandoned me."

I processed what Kakashi had just told me. "You know, I've dealt with a few people considering suicide. I've noticed that a lot of the time, they do it to relieve pain, not to cause it. That doesn't make it okay to me; it's still a waste of a life, of a human person. It's just that in the moment, when they're at such a low point, it feels like the best way out."

"I guess I understand that. Sometimes it just feels like he shouldn't have needed a way out."

"The same can be said of everyone," I murmured. "Some people just need to know that they're loved."

"So I wasn't good enough?" Kakashi challenged.

"No." I shook my head. If Sakumo's behaviour in the fight was anything to go by, he had loved Kakashi more than anything else in the world, and still did. "If you were to ask me, I think he did it to save you from himself. I met someone who had similar thoughts. He'd done something he was ashamed of, and wanted to save his wife the shame of living with that. I... wasn't able to talk him out of it." I rubbed my arm, feeling a slight chill. During our talk, we had made our way outside. "He was found dead a week after I saw him."

Kakashi stopped walking suddenly. I'd been looking at the floor, watching tiny flakes of snow fall and melt on the path. The sudden loss of his body heat alerted me to his halt before my eyes caught up.

"Kashi?" I stopped and turned to look at him. He put his arms around me and pulled me close in an unexpected, but welcome hug. I buried my face in his shoulder and hugged him back. "It's funny how you're the one comforting me. That's my job."

"Nothing wrong with a bit of role reversal from time to time," Kakashi replied. "Let me walk you home."

I glanced up at the sky. "It's not that late. How about we get dinner first?"

"Sounds like a plan."