✔️Heal My Heart {Kakashi Hatake}

111 | reconciliation

I rushed to Kakashi's side and put a hand to his forehead. Chakra drain again, of course. But now was a really bad time, we were in the middle of nowhere and I didn't have much chakra myself, not to mention there was a princess now without a bodyguard in the equation. This was not good.

"Are you going to heal him?" Chinai asked. "Can you hurry up about it?"

"Look, I'm gonna be straight with you, princess," I said. "I honestly don't know if I have enough chakra to heal him. I haven't stopped at all today, and that's included two full-scale fights. I'm not prepared for this."

"So what are you going to do about it?" Chinai crossed her arms.

I sighed, suddenly feeling tired. "I don't know. I honestly don't know."

I sat cross-legged and carefully lifted Kakashi's head into my lap and started to heal with what little chakra I had left. It wasn't doing much at all, but I had to do whatever I could. I sensed Chinai watching, but didn't pay her any attention.

"I think he really loves you," the princess said out of nowhere.

"What?" I frowned. "Where did that come from?"

Chinai sat beside me. There was a new expression on her face, one other than anger or jealousy. It was almost... sad. "He never really cared about doing his job. Guarding me, I mean. He did it because he had to, but his mind was always on you. We could be talking about anything and he'd somehow find a way to slip you into the conversation."

"I... I didn't know that," I murmured. "He doesn't often talk to people at all, unless he has to."

Chinai scoffed. "I don't think he even realises he's doing it, but when he talks about you, anyone would think you're an angel who descended from heaven or something. He used to drag me around to post letters to you because he had to be near me at all times. When he got news you were coming home, it only took him about five minutes to get clearance to bring me back to the Land of Iron."

I allowed myself to smile at this. "Yeah... he pretends to everyone that he's this big, tough ninja, but he's secretly a huge softie. You've just gotta coax it out of him a little. Well... a lot."

There was a brief silence.

"Why did you do it?"

I looked up at Chinai in surprise. "Do what?"

"Take the mission. Heal my country. You were away from your home for over two months with total strangers doing an impossible task for another country entirely. Why would you do that?"

I considered my answer for a moment. "Because it's something I believe in. I think that everyone should be offered the chance to love a full life, because that's only fair. I would never put innocent lives at risk - much less a whole country of innocents - for the sake of selfishly staying home. I lost my family when I was a kid, and I don't like the idea of others having to go through the same thing."

"You lost your family?"

I shrugged. "It was a long time ago. Thirteen years. I learned to live without them."

"But surely you miss them?" Chinai frowned.

"With every passing minute," I murmured.

Chinai looked down at her hands. "You know, that disease you just cured... it killed my mother. The reason I was sent to the Leaf is because my father wanted to protect me from catching it, and he wanted me to go somewhere safe. I didn't even get a chance to attend the funeral."

I glanced sideways at her. "I'm sorry. It's always harder when it's unexpected like this, and more so when you're old enough to fully understand it."

"I don't get it," Chinai mumbled. "You lost your whole entire family and you're so... I don't know. You're strong, independent, confident... I can barely bring myself to get up in the mornings."

I nodded slowly. "Nobody ever said it was easy. I can barely bring myself to get up in the mornings, but you know, something I've learned is to imagine that all your loved ones are right next to you, cheering you on and supporting you. I doubt they'd want you to lie in bed all day just crying, but what would they want you to do? That's part of the reason why I took the mission. My mother was intent on helping everyone, and I know she'd want me to do the same. That's what gives me the strength to keep going every day."

Chinai was silent for a while. "That's... that's actually really helpful. I see why they call you the Mother of Konoha."

"They still call me that?" I laughed. "I just made that up with a friend. I didn't realise it was actually a thing."

"Well." Chinai smiled. "It fits. When I first met you, I thought you were absolutely insufferable, but I realise now that you're a bit like a mother bear, or a badger."

"In what way?"

Chinai shrugged. "You're very defensive. Not of yourself, really, but of your loved ones. If anyone tried to get close to them, they'd find themselves facing you, and they'd probably get one look and turn tail and run. When you're not doing that, though, and you're not provoked... well, you're actually kind of a nice person."

"You're not too bad yourself, princess," I said.

Chinai's gaze drifted down to Kakashi. I wasn't healing anymore because if I tried to use any more chakra I'd probably pass out as well, and that was the last thing we needed. Kakashi was now lying on the ground in front of me, pretty much just sleeping. I hoped that he'd recover chakra while he rested.

"Do you love him?" Chinai asked.

"More than words can express," I replied.

Chinai sighed. "You're lucky. I don't get to marry for love. I have to marry for power, or political status. I'll probably end up being married off to a stranger."

I looked at her for a moment. "What's he like?"

"Who?" Chinai asked, startled.

"The boy you like." In response to her unspoken question, I said, "it's written all over your face."

Chinai frowned. "He's just a servant boy. I have no business even being friends with him, but... I can't help how I feel."

"Nobody can," I replied. "Tell anyone who tries to tell you what to do that they're wrong. Nobody can tell anybody what to feel."

I was going to say more, but I felt Kakashi moving and directed my attention to him.

"Did I miss anything?" he mumbled.

I scoffed. "At least you're finally awake, lazy-ass. C'mon, we've got a princess to deliver home."