✔️Heal My Heart {Kakashi Hatake}

96 | healing him

I found myself kneeling on the floor with my head on the end of the bed. At first I was confused, then realised I must have fallen asleep last night while I was testing, and stood up sharply.

"Shoot, where did I put that..." I muttered to myself. Stupid, rookie mistake. I shouldn't have let myself fall asleep like that. Where was that clipboard? I couldn't even remember if I got around to doing the blood pressure last night...

I found the clipboard halfway under the bed and examined the notes. No, I hadn't written in the blood pressure for last night. Dammit!

I turned around to see that Kakashi's eyes were open, watching me with something close to amusement. The oxygen mask prevented me from seeing the fullness of his expression. I felt a flood of relief wash over me like I'd never felt before, and I wanted to say a million things, but all that came out was, "you're awake."

Kakashi blinked once, slowly, as if to say, anything else to point out, Captain Obvious?

I pulled myself together quickly and took a deep breath. "Right. Well, I've just got to run some tests..."

I felt Kakashi watching me as I checked the heart monitor, measured blood pressure, breathing, and the drip currently connected to his arm. Everything seemed normal.

I sat down heavily in the chair next to Kakashi's bed. What would I want to know immediately after waking up in hospital?

"Let's see," I mumbled, half to myself. "After you passed out in the forest, Teren went and found Tsunade, the Sannin, and some assistant or apprentice or something. They helped me heal you enough to get you onto a stretcher back here. The big wound on your chest was infected, but I didn't even notice until Tsunade pointed it out. I'm not sure if I like her, honestly. Much too bossy, and she barely did anything. Anyway, you've been in here about a week."

There was silence for a moment. I'd had so much to say to him, and now I wasn't sure if I really wanted to ruin the relief that he was okay by scolding him.

Kakashi broke the silence by trying to push himself up into a sitting position, but I immediately held him down.

"Please don't try anything too soon," I begged. Kakashi looked up at me evenly, and reached up to his oxygen mask. I reached out to stop him, but he was faster still, despite being confined to a hospital bed. He pulled it off completely, and didn't say anything, just looked at it, then at me.

"Kakashi," I said. "Please-"

"I'm fine," Kakashi cut me off with the calm, even statement. His voice was scratchy from lack of use, but other than that he did admittedly sound perfectly healthy.

"I just don't want you hurt." I told him quietly. "I'm trying to help you."

"I know." Kakashi glanced away, then his brow furrowed in a frown and he looked back. "What's the date?"

"Wh- what-" I stammered.

"The date," he repeated firmly.

"December... twelfth," I said slowly.

"You spent your birthday in here looking after me?"

"It was my choice," I defended immediately. "I wanted to. It's not like I was going to do anything anyway."

"Miyoshi-"

"Save it," I interrupted. "I already know what you're going to say, and I know why you're saying it."

"Then why are you still here?" Kakashi asked. His mismatched eyes were pleading, sad, and filled with grief. I almost couldn't bear to look at him.

"Because I don't care how dangerous you think you are," I said softly. "I still love you. And I'm fighting for so much already, for so many lives. I don't want to have to fight for you, too."

Kakashi stayed silent for a while, then let out a long sigh. "I've made a mistake, haven't I?"

"Well, Kashi, you've made a lot of mistakes, but so have I," I said. "For example, I was supposed to go straight to the Hokage the minute you woke up but I just really can't be bothered at the moment. That'll bite me in the ass later on, I bet."

Kakashi smiled a little at that. "You might want to go and do that now."

"Probably," I admitted. "I'll just do it from here, I really shouldn't leave." I tore a strip of paper from my clipboard and scribbled two words - he's awake. Then I crossed over to the window, opened it and blew into a bird whistle, since I wasn't skilled enough to make myself loud enough without one.

After a moment, a messenger hawk fluttered over and landed on my outstretched arm. I offered it the note, and it took it in its beak and fluttered off again.

"Just curious," I began, "but how long exactly have you been awake?"

"Longer than you," Kakashi replied.

"Alright, don't rub it in." I rolled my eyes, but couldn't fight back a smile. "Seriously though, how long?"

Kakashi shrugged. "I was watching you sleep for a while."

"Well, that only sounded mildly stalkerish," I commented.

"You've been watching me sleep for a week," Kakashi pointed out.

"I've been making sure you don't die in your sleep, there's a difference," I retorted.

"Die?" Confusion flickered across Kakashi's face, and I knew immediately that I'd said too much. "I'm not going to die from a wound that you've been healing for the past week-"

"I didn't say that," I snapped. "It's nothing, okay? Don't worry. The Hokage'll be here any second, do you want something to cover your face?"

"No, it's fine." Kakashi didn't take his eyes from me. "Why do I get the feeling you're hiding something from me?"

"Why would I do that?" I asked airily. "I'm not hiding anything-"

I was cut off by the door opening quickly, and the Hokage appeared in the room. He stared at Kakashi for at least a minute, still gripping the door handle intensely, before he relaxed.

"You're awake, it's true." He heaved a great sigh of relief.

"Don't you trust me?" I asked jokingly in an attempt to restore the mood.

Kakashi looked between the two of us, frowning. "You are hiding something, I can tell. I want the truth."

I looked beseechingly at Lord Third. I was caught between his orders to keep it quiet and my own personal inclination to tell Kakashi everything to spare him the anger of having it kept from him. The Hokage gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head, and I stared down at my lap, saying nothing.

"Miyoshi." Kakashi looked at me pleadingly. "I need to know if it's something important."

"Kakashi, don't," I snapped. "I have orders."

"Since when do you care about orders?"

"Since this is actually important." I stood up sharply. "I'm taking a walk."

"Just don't take two weeks like you did last time," the Hokage murmured.

"Wasn't planning on it," I responded as I swept past him and out the door.