Finding: Me [Completed]

Epilogue [40]

HYUNRA POV

My world came crashing down when I heard what he told me.

What? What do they mean by they don't know? Why don't they? Why didn't he tell me?

My mouth felt dry and I swallowed the nothingness in my mouth as I felt like I was being torn into pieces in a flash.

He's back in Korea and I felt like my heart was in my throat, as if there a lump stuck there, and it was beating quickly.

But it wasn't a good feeling, it felt terrible.

"What do mean you can't contact or find him?" I felt like panicking as I grabbed Joshua's hand desperately.

"It's exactly what I said, when we were supposed to sign our expired contract about a week ago, he said he didn't want to continue this career. We respected his decision and let him go. But then I called him the next night for him to pick up some things he left at our temporary dorm, he didn't pick it up.

The others also tried calling him but to no avail. Then today I came to your house thinking that he's here already but...it turns out he's not. I'm sorry but I really don't have a clue where he is if you're going to ask me that." He explained.

I let go of my grip on his hands slowly and bit my lips nervously, trying to stop myself from breaking down.

He's nowhere to be found, he's nowhere to be found...

The painful feeling of fear and anxiety  brewed deep inside of me, bubbling and ready to explode.

"Is he alright? Did something happen to him?" I mumbled to myself nervously.

Is this the fear and anxiety he felt when I got into the accident? It must have been hard on him, because I feel so worried sick, the feeling when you don't know the outcome of something. Whether he or she is alright.

"I... I'll get going now." Joshua broke the silence and he left the place.

It feels so empty now.

I chewed on my lips and my knees finally gave way and I dropped to the ground, hitting the cold and hard ground painfully. Although it can't be compared to what I was feeling.

"What the heck?! You said we'll keep in touch! You said you'll be back in 5 months time!" I screamed at the top of my lungs even though he couldn't hear me at all, even though he wasn't here.

I wished this was only a nightmare, but this isn't a dream, I can't wake up.

-

The next few days were extremely difficult for me, most of the times where I felt like I wanted to block the world out.

But I pushed myself to face reality everyday. The house felt empty and cold without Jeonghan laughing and talking to me.

I tried getting over him but it was hard when almost everything in this house reminded me of him. The couch we laid on together, his room, his clothes in his closet... And I don't want to throw them out, I can't bear to.

It was a hard and rough time but I didn't want my personal life to affect my career and my outside life.

Raehwa knew about my situation and she tried to talk to me but I didn't want to talk to anyone about it, unless they had an answer.

And whenever I brush past his empty room, pieces of my already damaged heart seem to rip itself out and disappear into a dark, empty void, out of my reach, slowly killing me on the inside.

-

It's been a month since his disappearance and I can't say that I have completely forgotten him, and I can't say that I've healed much.

It doesn't bother me that much, but it doesn't mean it's gone. It's just temporarily buried, it's going to comeout one day to haunt me but I'll deal with it when that time comes.

I just don't want to face it now, I sound like a coward and I admit... I am one. I'm scared and afraid of touching that subject again, scared of the pain and hurt I'm going to feel again, I'll hide it for now and avoid it best I can.

Today was different, I thought I'll finally leave my past behind. Because I'm moving.

Moving away from here.

When my company suggested that I move to somewhere more private since my home was almost revealed to the public.

I wasn't sure if I was glad that I could escape from all the reminders in that house or I'm sad that I have to leave all the memories inside that place I used look forward going to.

I used the excuse that I didn't want mobs of people outside my house but I know I only used it to cover my own personal reasons.

I agreed hesitantly to move after they found a good and private place and hoped that I won't regret my decision in the future.

All my items where already packed up and the bulky items I wanted which wasn't much were packed into boxes.

I locked all the windows and doors inside the house. I went into the living room, took one last brief scan across the house, trying to hold back my threatening tears and the flashbacks and memories from flowing back me.

Less than a year ago, you were trying to gain my memories...but now I wished I could ditch them, but I can't forget.

"We need to go now!" Someone yelled from outside.

"Al-alright!" my voice cracked as I shouted a response but I stood rooted to the ground, unable to let it go.

I stiffled a soft sob and bit my lips tightly, keeping then shut.

This house will definitely be imprinted into my mind and it'll never be forgotten, every corner and crook of it, it'll be etched into my head.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly but impatiently. I moved my numb legs and stepped out of the house.

I pulled the door towards me and it slowly and painfully closed, as if it was a box, sealing the memories inside. It finally clicked as it closed and I locked it up, finally taping up the box and stopping myself from opening it up.

But deep inside, I hoped that I'll remember him, I hope that he's still here somewhere, thinking of me.

Finding myself was hard.

And deep down inside, I am secretly hoping to find us again.

Author notes 📝 :

Hey y'all who are reading this, thank you if you have read all my chapters and tolerated with my mistakes. To those who only read some bits, thank you anyways, it makes my day a lot to see that people actually bother to read my writing ..😌😌

Once again, I apologise if I didn't make the characters develope so well but I really didn't want to drag this book out😥

No worries though, there is going to be a second book, continuing the story. I'm not sure myself when the next book will be out but the first chapter is hopefully going to be out next month😊

THANK YOUR READING AND VOTING ♥!

PLEASE DO COMMENT, I REALLY WANT TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHT ON THIS STORY😁

Once again, thanks so much and I hope to see you through this book again :D

🌟~~