Forever Bound

Forever Bound: Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen: Dear Diary

Skylar's POV 

I walked into my room and broke down. I cannot believe I was really never going to get Blake back. And I'm still in love with him. I'm not going to be able to get over him so easily, but I'm going to try, even if it kills me.

Sighing, I opened up my Diary and began to write.

Today was such a horrible day with Jackie slapping me and telling Blake that there was no way we can be friends anymore. But a good thing that happened because today was when I realized a lot of things. The fear that people fear, is not the reason you are scared. Let me give you some examples. You're not afraid of the dark, you're afraid of what's in it. And you're not scared to love, you're just afraid of not being loved back. You see? It's a great thing to love as it is to be loved. Love is not something that can be wasted. It's important in everything. But while in love, we might pretend that it's perfect. I suppose we all lie to ourselves sometimes. But who can blame them? We all want love. And i guess there is another thing I figured out today. It's all right to love someone who doesn't love you back, as long as they're worth you loving them. As long as they deserve it. But i'm telling you right now, you will know if a guy is right for you, not by the things he says, but by the things he does. Never forget that...Maybe this is how it's going to be with Blake. His actions were lovely, before he met Jackie. I don't want to change him, I just want the Blake I used to know. He still deserves to be loved, and he may find another girl, but he can count on me for that too. Who knows, he may realize what's important because of that talk I had with him. Words can change us. I'll just have to move on and let things work there way through.

I reread what I wrote then closed the book and put it back in it's special drawer. When had I become such a Philosopher? I giggled to myself. 

"I guess something good comes out of bad situations." I said to myself.

After I washed my face and brushed my teeth, I hopped into bed. I thought about what I said in my entry today and kept my night light off for the first time since I was three. People aren't afraid of the dark, their afraid of what's in it. I opened my eyes and stared into the darkness.

For me, in the dark, it's not the idea of a monster or a killer in it, it's the feeling of being alone that I've always been afraid of. And as I continue to stare into the blackness that was my room, I realized how much I missed my mom, Landon, and my dad, the way everything was before. 

Tears flooded my vision as I tried to blink them away to no avail. I wish I was as strong as everyone thought I was, but i'm not. I'm the girl who puts on a front in front of everyone, but when she's alone, she cries to herself. Tonight is no different. I cried myself to sleep over something I have no control over.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

I was sitting in a cafe downtown when the bell on the door rang. I looked up from my book to see a familiar face looking at me. His blue eyes shown of relief and sorrow. He took a breath then started walking over to me. 

"Sky, I'm so sorry." He said.

"What do you mean? Why are you sorry?" I asked.

"I didn't want you to have to find out like that. I was the one who was supposed to tell you."

I was so confused at this point that my head was spinning.

"Blake, what are you talking about?"

"I'm getting married." He said as a confused look came over his features.

"You're what?" I said as my breath left my body.

"She wasn't supposed to tell you. I was supposed to. You were my friend. I thought you'd be happy for me?"

"Happy? Blake how? I still love you!"

His face fell, and I saw pain and love in his eyes.

"Skylar, you don't mean that. It's only the shock of me news. What brought this on?"

"No, it wasn't the shock. I've loved you ever since I was little. Even after we dated. I thought you felt the same..." I said as I let my words drift off.

"Sky, what are you talking about? We never dated." He said.

"W-w-what? No, we did, but then you cheated on me with Jackie. It was just last week, Blake! Don't lie to me." I said frantically.

I searched his face for any sign of deception, but I couldn't see anything but truth laced in his eyes. Why was it that I had thought that we dated? I mean, it was for over six months, but I wouldn't make that up...

"Skylight..."

I looked up again with tears brimming my eyes. 

"I, uh, I need to go. I'm sorry for saying that. I must have been mistaking." I got up and ran out the door, hearing the yells that came from Blake.

I ran straight home and up to my room. It looked just the same, but I could not figure out why I would make that up. I then curled up in my bed and cried. My eyes were shut when I heard a voice calling out to me.

"Skylight, don't cry, i'm here. I'm never leaving you again I promise." 

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Blake?"

"I'm here, don't worry."

"Why are we in your car?" I asked suddenly.

"Long story."

"Blake!"

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Sooo this is a little late, but i've been bombarded with Organic & Biochemistry, yet i'm still writing. It's shit, but i hope you like it. I'm going to shoot for an update in this next week but i make no promises. So hang tight and let me hear your opinions on this story! I'd love some feedback.