I'm gonna regret this...

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Alex's POV:
It was dawn when I made it. I had been walking for four hours. It's was six AM when I arrived at the shitty trailer. I was in only grey sweats, a white tee, socks, and my hair was in a greasy messy bun.
I wrapped on the tin door with the back of my knuckle, shaking in the cool morning.
Oh for fucks sake Rickey!
I knocked again harder. This time the blinds on the screen window next to the door went up. A very disheveled Kurt popped up holding a crushed beer can.
"Who the hell-? Oh- Alex! Hey guys look- I found Alex-!" Kurt said through burps
I glared at him.
"Yeah nice to see you too bro, where's Rickey?" I ask
Kurt just shrugged burping.
"I don't know man. I don't know!"
That's when a familiar voice came up behind him.
"Who are you talking to?"
Kurt whipped around and spoke in a slurred tone.
"Oh- I found him!" Kurt burped "Hey look Rickey! It's Alice-!"
"What?" Rickey said looking through the blinds
Rickey smirked when he saw me.
"Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in." Rickey purred, resting his arms on the back of the couch, looking at me like a piece of meat.
"Rickey, just let me in. It's freezing." I demand not wanting to put up with his stupid games.
"Not so fast doll face, let me get a look at you." Rickey said lighting a cigarette "Do a little twirl for Daddy."
"Rickey- come on." I protested
Rickey cocked an eyebrow "alright then."
Rickey began to close the blinds but I stopped him.
"Rickey- alright fine." I rolled my eyes
"What was that?" Rickey said opening the blinds again.
I glared at him and spun around with my arms out to my sides. I could feel Rickey mentally violating me.
"Happy?" I say dryly
Rickey smirked at me, standing up. I stepped back upon hearing the locks and chains on the doors being undone. They were pointless for the door could easily be kicked in anyway. But these guys were too stupid to realize that.
Rickey grinned devilishly at me.
"I must say Alex, you look good." Rickey said blowing smoke in my face, making my eyes sting.
I glared at him, snatching the cigarette and putting it to my lips.
Rickey grinned, "So what brings the great Alexandra back to my neck of the woods. Last I heard you didn't want to see me."
"I never said that..." I said leaning against the shitty counter as Rickey hovered over me.
"Oh? You just tell everyone you love to fuck off then?" Rickey says
"Apparently..." I mumbled
"What?" Rickey said getting closer to me
Rickey looked into my eyes. Seductively. I didn't want him. But that's why I did. I wanted to punish myself. I wanted to hurt.
Ignoring my churning stomach, I tossed the butt of the cigarette into the rusty sink. Slamming my lips onto Rickey's balling up his shirt in my fists.
I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to stop- but I couldn't.
In some sick way- it was my way to get back at Remington. I wanted him to hurt. I wanted him to hurt like I do. But how would he know? I don't know. I wasn't thinking straight. I just wanted go to sleep and wake up in Remington arms. Comforting me. Telling me it was all just a bad dream.
My body was slammed on a bed- well two stacked mattresses- but my mind was elsewhere. Rickey was cursing and calling me every name in the book- but I couldn't hear him. He unbuttoned my jeans. I was gonna regret this.
I was gonna regret this.

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