2. "I'm Not Okay"

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-Chapter 2 :





The cold air brushed Sohee's pale skin as she sat alone on her bed, staring out of her window. Her eyes were dull and her hand was hovering over her heart, which at the moment was beating faster than normal. She gingerly closed her eyes and leaned against her bed post as she recollected her brief meeting with Jung Hoseok on the streets, one of the members of the group she was assigned to hack into.

Sohee's face crumbled into pain as her memories of the past darkly surfaced, creating tears in her eyes. She let out a pained gasp as tears gently fell down her cheeks. She never imagined that she'd have to see him again. She had prepared herself when she read her newest task. However when she really faced him, she couldn't do anything. Old emotions flooded through her veins instead of blood and it took her everything she had not to gag.

As more tears erupted, a memory rushed into her like a speeding car.

Flashback

  "Yah, that wasn't funny!"
  The male laughed as he lightly punched the girl on the arm. The girl laughed it off and tousled his hair again, looking dreamily at him, her cheeks flushed.
  "You're so different from everyone else."
  She whispered with a pained expression. The boy became serious as he knew she was mentioning her past. The boy engulfed her in a hug and patted her back lightly.
  "You have me now, so don't hide anymore."

End of Flashback

Sohee lurched forward, her eyes fluttering open as sweat dripped onto her lap from her forehead. She was gasping for air and her throat felt insanely parched. She limped to the kitchen, snatching a glass and filling it with water, then bringing it to her lips and gulping it whole.

Sohee stood there for a while, calming her nerves. Slowly she sunk to her knees and began crying anew, tears wetting her shirt and her floor, however it was normal. There were nights she woke up screaming, grasping and pulling at her hair, as she cried out his name. Other nights she sobbed in her sleep and woke up to bags of depression and tears stains haunting her.

Today though, she knew that she would have to hack into the BTS server. But the thing was she couldn't. Her past memories tried to invade, but she pushed them away and sat to think. She had to stall time because as far as she knew it, she wouldn't be able to do what the company had asked for.


***


Hoseok marched to the table, wearing a smile as he greeted the members who fussed over him.

"I am fine Jin eomma!"

He joked at Jin, who very much acted like a mother. He then eyed Rapmon, because if Jin was the mother, Namjoon was the father.

"Can you all be quiet, I am trying to sleep." Suga complained as he rested his face on the glass table. Hoseok chuckled and sat next to his hyung. He knew that even though Suga didn't act like it, he deeply cared for J-Hope and the rest of the group.

"I hope you are reincarnated as a rock, so that you can sleep all you want." Hoseok chuckled as the other took their respective seats. Suga laid a hand on Hoseok's back as to thanking him in his sleepy way.

"Hyungs! Can we play something after this?" Taehyung whines, being his alien self. The rest of the maknae line poked fun at him as Jin was busy stuffing his face with food. Namjoon eyed Hoseok worriedly.

"Are you sure you're fine?" He asked once more, concern laced in his gaze.

No. I'm not fine. I'm slowly dying inside...

"Yup, I've never been better!" Hoseok cheerfully responded, smiling as he urged Suga to get up. Suga finally responded and straightened as Hoseok then slowly started eating, the smell of the food making him drool as he hungrily eyed the food.

"I heard that we need a junior choreographer, apparently it's for training reasons and they're searching for one right now." Rapmon commented as he blew on his ramen, looking thoughtful.

"I hope they're nice!" Tae squeaked as he chomped on his chicken. Jin eyed everyone, making sure they were eating properly. He'd always been the mother figure.

"Eomma you should eat too!" Hoseok joked with Jin, getting the table to laugh with him. Jin looked up with a pout.

"Next time we share rooms in a trip, can I have someone other than Suga as a partner? I want someone to laugh at my jokes!" Jin complained as he stabbed his chicken with his chopsticks.

"So you're saying you want to be alone?" Suga sighed with a small smirk as he reached for some water.

Jin opened his mouth to say something but pouted again and focused his anger on the sushi.

"Is it going to be a girl or guy?" Jimin carefully thought aloud as he passed some food to Jungkook with a smile. Jungkook and Jimin were pretty cute together (Lunar has an, erm, obsession, with the Maknae Line...)

"I want it to be a girl." Hoseok said as chuckled,

"All of us are boys so a change would be nice." He then said, supporting his answer. Suga stared at his friend as he tried to figure out if Hoseok was sick or not.

However everyone soon was engulfed in their food, forgetting the troubles they all had. Except J-Hope. Hoseok sat as he munched slowly on his food, his face smiling but his inside frowning.


No one could understand him, and he'd let no one try to understand.












-lunar1029

Edited by bolbbalganstudios

Author's Note:
Hey y'all! It's ya girl, KJ! So, I am cowriting this story with lunar1029 and aestheticallygoth (but she has not been writing, so yeah...). Thanks 🙏 for reading this fanfic! Anyway, we are glad that you clicked on this story (even on accident!), and one of the authors says "닥쳐! (Shut up!)" to me for speaking too much, so I'm gonna shut up now. 😁 See y'all in the next chap!

사랑해요! 💗
~KJ! (even though the other authors might hate me for this....야! Don't yell! 야! 죽고 싶지?!)

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