10. His mistress

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Author: @dhruvika_naik

I enjoyed pankhuri and Aditya scenes. They were really cute in the beginning. Later, cute scenes of Shivaay and Anika were good too.

So there were basic mistakes but let's focus on bigger mistakes, shall we?

See I don't mean to offend you but is it just me or anyone else feels that Shivaay's love wasn't pure and just lust? I mean it didn't feel they loves each other purely because pure love is about guiding each other to the right path not doing the wrong thing with them.

Also, you really don't need to tell the reader for how many hours they made love.

The chapters were too short. I'm used to reading chapters of artless over 2000 words. Actually they didn't even feel like chapters. They were just scenes. You need to understand that it's not just about writing short chapters to get reads or votes. And why do you have to add your own thoughts in between?

There were repetitive use if same words to describe a scene.

Also, stop adding pictures but explain what he/she was wearing or how the place was decorated. Like we need the reader to feel like they are reading a book,right?

Don't add POV, write it as he thought or she thought.

•Please try to write in inverted commas.
•Look after the typos
•Write longer chapters

Overall: A mess. It was not at all appealing. Needs to focus on grammar. Punctuation.

Sorry for the harsh review but it's just constructive criticism so please no need to get disheartened or bash me. I warned you.

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