Review book [Closed]

32. Mujhe teri zaroorat hai

NiharKhan

First, I'll applaud you for your great and vast improvement. It's really amazing. I think if I had reviewed two stories of the same person I didn't see much change. I'm not talking about the writing style.

You're improvement by far is the most spectacular. According to me, this is what truly writing is. Some people (not all. No offense) don't really improve in their next work. They do the same mistake. I really am proud of you Nihar.

In your last story, there was barely description. You had curt off the description part in your last one but in this you have equal importance to description. But an advise. When you write in third person's perspective then try writing in past tense. It makes it easier to understand. Use the helping verb, ‘was’ instead of ‘is’. It's easier to read. Like when you write Ishwari felt something different, something about her was familiar. It helps to build the story.

Second, the comma is put before the inverted comma not after it. See, like this.

"This is so great," said Sonakshi.

But you wrote it like this– "This is so great", said Sonakshi— which is grammatically incorrect. Also make sure to give space after each period ‘.’ sign. And there should be space after ‘,’.

Next, everything was good but I don't know what happened in epilogue. You gave unnecessary paras and loads of period signs. Edit it please?  :(

Also, in the description you have used this ‘-’ sign. I think a period sign will look better after each of their names.

By the way, I have added your story to my reading list: recommendations because I do think you made a great improvement and it's worth a read.

Much love,
Akriti