Review book [Closed]

39. The Supernatural Love

katrina12234

Vampires and Devakshi. Well that was certainly fun to read. I have not read any Indian fan fiction with the vampire twist, though I enjoy werewolves much more. And Dev's intro, hands down. It had me laughing so much. It was so causal that it made it fun to read.

First comes the title of the story. So the first letters of all the words should be capital in the title. In just the title, no where else.

Then the description. It was a nice description. Good one at that. But I think you can improve it. It would be beautiful if you add proper punctuation. Like, Sonakshi, a naive and a coward girl, is stuck with a vampire, unaware of her destiny. When you use punctuation correctly, then your writing appears far more appealing than it would without them.

Then, comes the last line of your description. There's something quite not right with it that I can't place a finger on. But anyway, I think I would have preferred it a bit differently. And just for the record, it's not necessary to edit it but it's simply a suggestion. Totally your choice.

Buckle up for a very romantic story with a taste of horror.

You see the sentence you have used has the word 'cum' way too many times which makes it very... repulsive? I'm not sure what adjective to use but it just makes it a lot less appealing.

Grammatical errors, they are way too many of them for me to even point out in comment section. I would probably have to spam your every sentence and that would be very effing annoying. So let's give you a little insight on a proper statement with correct punctuation.

"But I am not a vampire, you are." Sonakshi said.

Notice that there is no gap between the inverted commas and the words. Also, there is a period sign after the dialogue ended. You have to add a punctuation mark after the dialogue ends and every proper noun should begin with a capital letter.

Perspectives, well this is one of the most important parts. Like 60% of the fan fictions (of devakshi and ishqbaaaz fandom) tend to make this mistake a lot. Whenever I see a change from third person to first person, I half wish for the ground to open up and swallow me. I mean, really? This. Is. Darn. Annoying.

And yes, let's appreciate the good work of dialogues. They were really nice and had a slight humor to them. Specially Dev's introduction.

You need to understand the basics of writing a book. You can't just wake up one morning and decide to write a story when you don't have your basics cleared.

Don't miss out on step one. You're going to come falling back. Sweetheart, writing is a long journey. You need to learn so much. And I hope I helped in this review. And I'm pretty sure if you edit it then it would be better. And when you edit it the second time, it would come out even better.