Review book [Closed]

33. Need a little love?

Embrace-Elegance

It's a nice story for starters I must say. The plot was nice. Different than the one I am used to reading. You had got the basics almost correct. There were few grammatical errors or typos that I have pointed out in the comment section. I can't wait to see how the story unfolds though. The description was great. Just short and simple that leaves the reader a bit curious.

So aside from this, what you can do. I have very small things to point out. First, you change perspectives a lot. I mean, it gets so confusing. You keep jumping from Shivaay's POV to Anika's to third person. Let me clear one thing. When we write in third person's perspective we never change to first person's perspective. You can't just change it according to you, when ever you feel like. Because what is comfortable for you, isn't for a reader. And your top priority should be the reader.

So what can I do? Well, simple. There are two options. First, you can write in Shivaay's perspective because when you start writing in first person's perspective, you can switch your perspectives. But you can't jump from one to another in each scene. Only in different chapters are you allowed to change it. If chapter one is in Anika's POV then it is to stay in her POV only. In next chapter you can write Shivaay's POV.

Or the second option is, letting it stay in third person's perspective. In third person's perspective there are also two kinds. One is from author's eye, in which they can access thoughts of multiple characters while in second one you have to choose a particular character from who's eyes you'll show how the story unfolds. You can take Anika's eyes for this. A great example is of this might be two of my favorite series. The Mortal Instruments and Harry Potter.

Next, only use one punctuation mark. You tend to use two punctuation mark at once. Only one will suffice.

Third, I think center align doesn't look really great. Try writing in left align or right align.

Well that's it for now because I think the story has only few parts I don't have much to point out. And I added the story to my recommendations reading list :)

Love,
Akriti