For the Road

36

It's the following morning, and Liam can't do it anymore. He needs answers desperately. It's been three years since they've broken up and Liam doesn't know why he suddenly needs answers, but he does. He wants to be happy with Sophia, but he's not sure he can do that if he doesn't get answers.

Zayn's on his way, and Liam already wants to throw up. He's not entirely sure if it's hangover related or because he's nervous about confronting Zayn. He paces quickly, trying to plan some kind of idea in his head of what he wants to say, but he can't.

The only thing he can think about are those stupid brown eyes and olive skin, Zayn's disgustingly smooth and silky black hair, and the jawline that Liam teased him about endlessly but loves—loved—secretly. Liam wants it all to stop. His brain pounds in his head relentlessly.

A knock on the door brings him out of his trance. "Liam, it's me!" The voice belongs to Zayn. Normally, he doesn't let himself get worked up over Zayn. Normally, Liam can function around Zayn as long as he doesn't remember their relationship, as long as he doesn't think about how strong Zayn's arms were around his waist when they—no.

"Coming," Liam cries. His voice is shaky as he slowly makes his way to the front door. He opens it to reveal Zayn. He wears a small smile and a warm looking jacket. Liam stares at him for a Moment before opening the door wide enough to allow him in.

"Thanks for inviting me over. I can't remember the last time we hung out, just the two of us. Normally, you and... Louis hang out," Zayn says. Liam hears the bitter tone Zayn uses on Louis' name, but chooses to ignore it.

"I didn't invite you over so we could hang out and play games, Zayn. I have to... I have to know what happened. One day we were together and happy and the next we weren't and ... I need answers," Liam says.

Zayn turns to Liam with his eyebrows furrowed. He sighs loudly and slowly slips his jacket off and sets it on one of the armchairs. Liam watches as Zayn takes a few steps around the living room and pulls a hand through his hair nervously.

"Why do you care? It's been three years. We agreed not to talk about it," Zayn hisses. Liam can already feel he's on the verge of tears. He can't tell if the tears are laced with anger or sadness, but he guesses it's a mix of the two.

"I know we agreed, but I can't ... I can't move on if I don't know. I'm happy with Sophia, don't get me wrong, but I just... I can't be completely with her until I know why things ended between us," Liam says. His voice is shaky, but he manages to hold back his tears.

Liam makes the mistake of glancing at Zayn's arms. Zayn's first tattoo (a detailed drawing of the first couple bars of the band's first song) is drawn across Zayn's arm. Liam couldn't see it before, but now that his jacket is off it's proudly on display. He's thrown into a memory.

"Come on, Bear, like five more minutes," Zayn mumbles. Liam's heart races at Zayn's nickname. It started off as a joke, because Liam snored like a bear, but then Zayn started using it as an endearing term and it stuck.

"We have to go before someone walks in," Liam protests. Zayn wraps his arms tighter around Liam's waist. Liam glances down and traces over the huge tattoo on his boyfriend's arm.

Zayn nudges his face against Liam's bare shoulder and kisses it lightly. Liam tries to hold back a smile, but can't. He loves it. Liam smiles as he glances down at their tangled hands and feet. He has no clue how he ever managed to find someone as amazing as Zayn. Growing up, he was lucky if someone ever looked at him. Now, he has the attention of someone that could be a supermodel. Liam can't believe he can say that Zayn's all his.

Liam shakes the memory from his head and focuses back on the situation at hand.

"I thought we were better as friends. I told you that already." Liam refuses to believe that's the reason they broke up. The excuse never made sense to Liam. He doesn't understand how someone can go from being totally in love to wanting to be best friends the next morning.

"If my memory serves, the night before you told me that you loved me. It was our anniversary that day and you said you loved me. We were so happy that night and then the next morning I wake up to a note that says, 'Sorry we're over'? I tried texting you and calling you and nothing. If you wanted to preserve our friendship you should've had the decency to at least tell me in person and not the day after our six-month anniversary! I'm sorry, but are my memories not right? Am I forgetting something?" Liam can't believe it. The repressed emotions come out and he's crying. Zayn takes a step forward, but Liam takes two back. He can't let Zayn near him, not now.

"I'm sorry, Bear—" Zayn starts.

"No! You don't get to say that anymore! You lost the right to do that when you wrote a note to break up with me! I broke up with my girlfriend to be with you, Zayn! I broke one of my best friend's hearts because I was under the impression you actually like me. If you liked me at least a little you wouldn't have done that," Liam shouts. Liam looks at Zayn, trying to find a reaction or to see what he's thinking. He can see Zayn's eyes start to go red.

"I'm sorry! I did love you, Liam, I promise you I did! I ended things with Perrie, so I could be with you! I wouldn't have done that if I didn't like you, okay? You gotta believe that my feelings for you were real. I was young and didn't know any better. I didn't want to face you," Zayn cries. He wipes a few tears from his eyes and faces Liam. Liam wants to look away. He can't stand seeing Zayn cry. Even after everything Zayn's done to him, Liam still can't bare seeing the boy cry.

"You don't get to say you didn't know any better. You were old enough to understand that you were going to hurt my feelings by leaving the note. You broke up with Perrie, but then got right back together with her the Moment we broke things off. You threw me to the curb, Zayn. The only thing I want to know is the truth. Why did you break up with me," Liam presses.

Liam can see the internal battle going on in Zayn's brain. He can see a trace of pain, but Liam doesn't feel bad. Zayn doesn't get to play victim this time. He wouldn't allow it.

Zayn's voice breaks as he says the last thing Liam could've come up with. "Dammit, Liam, can't you see? I'm in love with Louis. I've been in love with him since the beginning."

~_~_~

Hey guys! How's everything going? Thoughts on Louis not knowing about Ziam? Thoughts in general? Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed! ~B

ATLC: My favorite shows are: Shameless, Switched at Birth, Fosters, and Grey's Anatomy (I just started so no spoilers)

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