Y'all this ones gonna be so sad omg. I cried while writing this. Please listen to the song while you read it.
"Hey Ponyboy." Johnny laughed and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind.
I chuckled. "Hey baby, what's up?"
"Not much...I was just about to tell you some good news..."
"And that would be?"
He turned me around and was grinning harder than ever. "We've done it! We finally got enough money!"
My eyes widened. "Y-you're sure?"
Johnny nodded quickly. "I'm positive!"
"Oh my God!" We hugged each other tightly in excitement. For the past few months the two of us had been saving up to take a trip to California to see the beach. Johnny told me it was his dream, and once I heard that I vowed to take him there. I didn't care how much money it was.
-
It was just a few weeks later when I got a call that Johnny had passed out at his work. I was rushing to the hospital, to stunned to cry.
After waiting for what felt like hours, I finally got to see him. "Ponyboy..." he hugged me tightly. "I'll be fine..."
But he wasn't fine. Tests revealed he had a nearly incurable cancer.
-
"No..." I whispered.
The doctor looked down. "I'm so sorry boys...there's nothing we can do."
I immediately began crying. I was losing Johnny. I was gonna lose my sweet Johnnycakes. I couldn't stop crying. The thought was too much.
I felt his hand on my thigh, causing me to look down at him. He just closed his eyes. "Pony...take me home."
I nodded slowly and helped him stand. After helping him in the car, we drove home in silence. There was nothing I could think to say. There was nothing I could say without bursting out into tears.
When we pulled into the driveway of my house, he spoke. "Pony...life is only borrowed. Don't be sad that tomorrow I won't be here with you. Go and live your life with no regrets...just...don't forget how much I love you..."
I began crying again. Johnny was given only days to live, and he still managed to tell me that. He was taking it a lot better than I was. It wasn't fair. He didn't deserve to die. I took his hand. "I won't Johnnycake. I could never..."
-
"We're going Johnny, I won't take no for an answer." He was laying on the bed, extremely weak, as I packed a suitcase.
"P-Ponyboy..." his desperate tone made me stop. "We can't go...and you know it." I wanted to take him to California. I wanted him to see the beach at least for a second. "I won't live long enough for the drive...and I don't want to die there. I want to die at home...please."
I teared up and sat down in the bed, gripping his hand. "I'm sorry I never got to take you..."
"Baby, don't feel guilty. This is my choice, okay?" He slowly raised my hand and kissed it. "It's my choice..."
-
His time was getting closer. I could tell easily. He stopped talking, as he was too tired, and he was too weak to even move. I never left his side once. The gang brought us food, which Johnny never ate, and drinks, which he could barely keep down.
"P-Pony..." his voice was so soft, I thought I had imagined it.
But his hand was slowly reaching out to grab mine. I grabbed it quickly. "What is it honey?"
"I-I want to die at the lot..."
I knew why. It was where we first confessed that we liked each other. Where we first got together. Where we had our first kiss. Where we first said 'I love you'. It was a special place to him.
I nodded and slowly picked him up, cradling him. He was so light...
The walk to the lot was short, but it felt like an eternity. "J-just one last sunset..." he whispered.
I was sitting on the ripped up seats with him in my lap. When he said that, I couldn't help but cry. I knew he was happy, and I knew that that he didn't mind dying so much, but I just couldn't help it.
I was holding onto him tightly as the sun began to sink. His eyes were barely open, but it was enough for him to see it. Tears clouded his eyes, yet he smiled. "I-I love you Pony...I love you so much." His voice was hoarse, but I heard him. "K-kiss me?"
I laughed lightly and wiped my eyes, before leaning down, and kissing him softly. "I love you too Johnny."
He smiled and his body relaxed. It took me a few seconds to realize that he was gone...he had died in my arms, with a smile on his face.
-
After Johnny's funeral, I began going to the lot every night. It was bittersweet, because he wasn't there...yet I could feel him. Every memory felt as if it was in the tip of my tongue.
They were fresh in my mind, yet I felt like I couldn't remember them. The only thing I could see was his face...his beautiful face...
I was trying to hold on tight to all of our good times, but they were already slipping. I closed my eyes and prayed that this was all a dream, and tomorrow I would wake up with my arms around his waist.
I can't get over the fact that tomorrow, he won't be here with me. When he died, the only thing he asked was for me to not forget the way he loved me.
-
I stood at the edge of the water. I had finally made it to California, with Johnny's memory to keep me company.
He was here with me...somehow. I wanted to believe that. He never got to go, and I felt guilty. That was his only dream. But he told me he wanted to die at home.
He got to die in my arms at least.
I took a deep breath and looked up. "I won't forget the way you loved me Johnnycake. The amazing way you loved me...it's bittersweet."
Guys I'm so sorry this is so sad. Like I said I cried while writing this. The song just makes it better though
