In A World Of Our Own (Westlife Fan Fiction)

Chapter 26

Ellen woke up as expected in the middle of the night, crying her eyes out. Kian comforted her by holding her close to him, and singing soothingly to her. She calmed down quite quickly, and Kian was surprised. She fell back to sleep before Kian had a chance to tell her that he had made a doctor’s appointment for her. She fell asleep in his arms, and he lay there breathing deeply so that she knew that he was still there. He fell asleep soon after Ellen, and he planned to tell her over breakfast that he had made an appointment for her. He wasn’t sure how she would react, so he had to bribe her into going if she didn’t want to go willingly. He planned in his sleep, and dreamed of Ellen, her smile and her glistening eyes, and her playing with Koa; their little boy.

 He woke up before Ellen in the morning and got up carefully so he didn’t wake her. He showered and dressed and went downstairs. Koa was stirring, so he picked the little boy up and took him downstairs with him. He sat him in his high chair once he was fully awake and fed him his breakfast.

 Ellen came downstairs, showered and dressed, to the glorious smell of pancakes and sugar. She breathed deeply, the smell was amazing. She wandered into the kitchen and Kian grabbed her round the waist and kissed her good morning. He sat her down, they had breakfast, and once he was sure that it was the right time, he told Ellen that he had a doctor’s appointment this morning. He backed himself up by saying that he cared so much about her and that he was worried, and Ellen just nodded and agreed to go, but only if he went with her.

Nicky agreed to look after Koa whilst they went to the doctors, Ellen didn’t want Koa to see her or Kian upset as she was afraid that it might distress the little boy. Nicky picked him up, and after finalising everything, Kian agreed to pick him up after the doctor’s appointment. Ellen took a deep breath before climbing in the car, she was no nervous, she hardly ever went to the doctor’s  and she knew that it would make the past surface, the accident with the diner and the conflict with Jodi.

 Kian drove them there, he wasn’t sure whether Ellen would be stable enough to drive, and he didn’t want an accident to happen. They arrived at the surgery pretty quickly, and Kian climbed out. Ellen sat in the car; she couldn’t build up enough bravery to get out. Her body had frozen, although she was about to find out what it was that was wrong, she didn’t want to know in a way, in case it affected her badly. Kian tapped on the window and realised that Ellen was crying, silently tears were falling down her face. He opened the door and took her hand, she looked at him and he looked deep into her bloodshot eyes, and Ellen was the utter devotion in Kian’s eyes, they were willing her to gather the strength that she needed to sort this problem.

 She stood slowly out of the car, wiped the tears from her eyes, and they made their way into the doctor’s surgery. Once they had checked in, they sat down in the waiting room, Ellen clinging to Kian’s hand so tightly that she was cutting off the circulation. He didn’t seem to mind, until he let out a yelp of pain as Ellen’s nails dug into his skin. She apologised and he just laughed.

 They were waiting for a few minutes before they were called. Kian was asked to wait outside, but Ellen informed the doctor that if Kian didn’t come in, she wouldn’t either. The doctor gave in and let him in with them, so long as he kept calm. They sat down in the chairs and Ellen explained to him exactly what was going on:

“What seems to be the problem Mrs Egan?”

“I can’t sleep”

“That seems to be a mild case of insomnia, are you on any medication?”

“No, you see it isn’t that simple” Ellen was about to cry again, and she took Kian’s hand again.

“I’m sure it is”

“Listen to her, when she says it’s not that simple, it isn’t that simple” Kian burst, he was angry that the doctor was dismissing Ellen’s comments.

“Then I am sorry, please explain”

“Every night, at around the same time, I wake up from a terrible nightmare, the same one every night. It seemed to be better once I met Kian, and once we had married, but recently it has started to seep back into my dreams.”

“What happens in the nightmare?”

“I am on the floor, falling in and out of consciousness, and there is fire and smoke everywhere, I can’t move, and then someone pulls me out of the smoke and I wake up.”

“What happens when you wake up, what do you feel?”

“I have a cold sweat, yet I feel hot, and I just breakdown, I must drive Kian crazy”

“Of course you don’t, I love you too much for that” He kissed her gently to comfort her and the doctor just sat there awkwardly.

“Well let’s get to the bottom of this then” The doctor spoke for some time, asking various questions, and nodding. He did some typing on his computer and seemed to come to a conclusion.

 “I’m afraid you need closure Mrs Egan”

“From what?”

“From the fear inside of you, you seem to have developed a phobia of the truth about your business, the diner that you explained about to me, I can recommend a specialist person who will use a technique known as Stress Inoculation Training or SIT for short.”

“What does that do?” Kian seemed concerned with the diagnosis.

“Well, you seem to be suffering with the stress of the incident referring to your business. With this training you will be taught skills to combat this stress, and it will tackle your phobia. It is a widely used therapy and it is effective, however, it is expensive.”

“Then I am not interested” Ellen was adamant that she wasn’t going to change her mind, she didn’t know however, that it would be changed for her.

“We can afford it, I have savings, and you seem to forget that I was previously in a boy band that sold 44 million albums worldwide. I have the money”

“But it is your money, I can’t take that to learn some skills”

“Well, tough, I am getting you this training, whether you like it or not”

Kian wouldn’t let the training idea go. He really wanted to fix Ellen’s problem, the nightmares would soon become too painful to cope with, so he was determined to fix the problem before it got so bad that it would compress her soul as if it were a shroud of pain that she would eternally wear.