Chapter 43

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They stayed in England until the funeral. Rain pattered dismally down the windscreen of the car as it followed the hearse down the road. Ellen stared out of the window, the tears rolling from her eyes in time with the rain that pattered down the window. On the other side of the car, Kian was holding Ellen’s hand, squeezing it every so often to make sure that she stayed in the real world. The car finally reached its destination, the cemetery. The smell of damp grass comforted Ellen, and they made their way inside.

A couple of days before, Kian had gone home to get some clothes, and to take the kids home. His mother was looking after them for now, and he thought it best if he made sure that Ellen made it through the day with him by her side. There was nothing he could do, but he had to try. Ellen was being very distant from him, as though they had never met before, and he realised how little he knew about her. This worried him, he felt that he was completely useless, and that others around him knew her far better than he ever could; it broke his heart.

They went inside for the ceremony and Kian sat next to Ellen on the front row. She wouldn’t hold his hand; he sensed that she wanted to be left alone. They sang a few favourites of Adam’s, and Ellen’s voice elevated the room, and Kian muttered under his breath: ‘she’s still got it’. He wasn’t sure who he was talking to, but luckily Ellen didn’t hear him. The vicar called Ellen to say a few words and Ellen pulled out her speech. She said that Adam was a great brother, although at times annoying, and she told a few funny stories which brought smiles to the audiences’ faces. But as she came to the end of the story, she found it hard to talk and burst into tears. Kian stood up and was about to approach her when she ran out of the building. He was going to run after her when someone told him to leave her; she needed to be on her own.

After the service, Kian spotted Ellen getting into the car and being driven away by a member of her family, presumably going to the reception at their house. Kian dropped his shoulders and kicked the ground beneath his feet. He didn’t know what to do and he had never felt more abandoned in his life. Then the same person that had spoke to him in the service came up to him and shook his hand, and introduced himself as Adam’s best friend. Apparently he wasn’t going to the reception, but the pub instead and invited Kian to join him. They got into his car and disappeared from sight.

They sat down in the pub and ordered two pints, and Kian sipped it enthusiastically. They sat in silence for a few minutes until Adam’s friends spoke:

“My name is Shaun by the way”

“Nice to meet you, I only wish it was under better circumstances, I’m Kian by the way”

“I know who you are mate, Ellen never shut up about you”

“When did she tell you about me?”

“Her whole life mate, I mentioned that I was Adam’s best mate, and she didn’t mention me at all?”

“No, sorry mate, should she have?”

“Well, I guess she doesn’t speak about her ex-boyfriends much then”

“You, and Ellen, really?”

“Yeah, donkey’s years ago, but I was no competition to you of course”

“But I didn’t know her then”

“But she knew you, kind of” Kian drank the pint the quickest he had ever drank before, to take the shock away mainly.

“I had better find her” Kian suddenly remembered what had happened in the cemetery.

“Leave to her own devices, she will thank you for it in the long run”

“Then why did she invite to come to England with her?”

“Did you though, or did you think that it would be best if you could look out for her?”

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