Chapter 30

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A couple of hours after her confession, Ellen was still crying. Kian hadn’t come home yet, and Ellen was afraid that he had done something stupid. But she didn’t have time to worry about that now; she had to pick Koa up from school. Ellen stopped the tears, pulled herself together, and went out the front door seemingly happy.

She bumped into Olly and Emma on the way out, they were just going back to the house, and they handed the car keys to Ellen, who was searching in her bag for them.

“Hey you got time for a catch-up Elle?” Emma made Ellen jump with her cheery voice.

“No, I have to pick Koa up from school”

“Let Kian do that, you’ve done enough work”

“Kian’s not here, I’ll see you later” Ellen was rushing her words, trying to get away from the conversation.

“Ellen are you okay?”

“I’m in a rush, I have to go” With that last sentence, Ellen drove off in the BMW and made her way to Koa’s school. She wasn’t really in a rush, but she needed to get away from the house.

Koa ran up to his mother in the playground and Ellen grabbed him in a hug, she may have lost Kian, but she wasn’t going to lose Koa as well. She carried him to the car and placed him in the car seat, strapped him in, and sat in the car for a minute before starting the engine. What was she going to say to Koa when they get home to find Kian not there? She wiped the silent tears from her eyes before releasing the handbrake.

When they got home Kian’s car still wasn’t there, and Ellen’s heart sank. She smiled at Koa as she unstrapped him and then he asked the dreaded question:

“Where’s Daddy?”

“Daddy has gone out, he will be home soon” the problem was, Ellen didn’t know whether Kian would be coming home soon, and she felt so guilty about giving the child false hope. She carried Koa inside, she didn’t want to let him go, but she did, and he ran upstairs to play with his toys. Emma and Olly came into the kitchen were Ellen was making a drink for Koa and coughed to make themselves known to her. Ellen turned nodded and filled Koa’s cup with squash.

“Ellen-“

“-I just have to take this up to Koa”

“I’ll do that” Olly spoke and took the cup at the same time, before disappearing up the stairs and into Koa’s room.

“Ellen, what’s the matter?”

“I told the truth, and now Kian hates me”

“What, why?”

“Because the truth hurts”

“You aren’t making any sense to me, what did you tell him?”

“About my past, and my ex-boyfriend, before you and I met”

“Oh, the violent one right?”

“Yeah, well I have a secret that I haven’t told anyone and I told Kian and now he’s gone, and I don’t know whether he will be back”

“Was it a bad secret?” Emma was itching to know, but she didn’t want to pressure Ellen into telling her, she looked unstable enough as it was.

“One of the worst”

“I know it’s none of my business, but that bloke is amazing, he loves you and he will be back”

“I’m not so sure, this secret has ruined my life, and I can never escape it”

“What is it?” Emma put her hand on her mouth and said: “You don’t have to answer that, forget I said it”

“No, you have a right to know, just promise me it won’t ruin our friendship”

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