Protecting You ("The Shadows" Series: Book I)

XX.

Lily's POV

Everything fell silent around us. I was done telling him 'The Talk' me and father had. I don't even know what I should call him now. Ryan sat there in front me like a statue. I was feeling like I would throw up any moment. Nauseous and feeling of emptiness coursed through me, both at the same time. I felt betrayed and laden with lie inside me. Knowing that my mother hid my life's truth and also asked him to promise her not to tell me.

Then who am I? What is my identity? Who should I trust now? I could come up with nothing but Ryan's name. That was the reason why he was sitting here listening to my conversation with that...man who was sitting in his room relaxing or doing something else. I really don't care about him. He broke my trust on him. I never thought that I would see this day. Not even in my wildest dreams.

"Say something."

My thoughts were making me insane, the silence was deafening. I was desperate to hear Ryan's voice. He broke out from whatever trance he was in and focused on me. His hands rose up and caressed my cheek. I realized then that I still had tears streaming down my face. He wiped them away, looking at me intently.

"Are you feeling guilty that we are here for you when you are not even one of us?" He said firmly.

My eyes widened. I had not even shared this thought that I had in my mind, with anyone. And he guessed it instantly. Was I that readable? Words never left my mouth as a sob escaped my lips. His face softened as he pulled me again, me resting on his chest, my hands curled around him. He cradled me while I continued sobbing in his embrace. After what felt like ages, he broke the hug and pulled my hair gently away from over my face. His hands rested on either sides of my neck.

"What do you want to do now?" He asked, his voice low and carrying unknown emotions. My brows furrowed as I glanced at him under my lashes.

"What?"

"How do you feel?"

Why was he asking me these things? If I'll be honest, I'm a wreck. I have nothing, no belonging, no family, just nothing that I would call mine. What should I answer him?

"I don't know?" I was uncertain of what he wanted as an answer from me. He nodded.

"Do you want to stay here?"

"No."

I answered without skipping a beat. I would do anything but stay here. I never belonged here. Then why waste my time here. But where would I go? Another sob escaped my lips as I started speaking

"I don't have anyone to say a family, anywhere to go, anything to call mine. I-I...." I was cut off by him

"Marry me." He said, cutting me off effectively.

I felt my eyes popping out of their sockets anytime now but that didn't happen when he spoke again

"I want to marry you. Come with me. Please. I need you. I want you. I'm not a romantic guy but I will try. Marry me." He said without stuttering. I looked at him as if in daze. I searched for his eyes looking for anything but sincerity but found none except it. Before I could think further the words left my mouth

"Okay."

He picked me up immediately, my legs tightening around his waist on it's own accord, as he walked towards the bathroom, all the time his eyes not leaving mine. He sat me on the counter and searched for something in the drawers. After a couple of minutes he came back with a box of tissues. He washed my face and then dried it with tissue. I sat there, blankly looking at him. He continued dabbing under my eyes as he spoke

"Would you mind if we marry today?" His voice held uncertainty. I shook my head. I knew this was a big decision and that I was being haste in taking the decisions of my life, but I knew deep down that I needed someone right now to comfort me and couldn't come up with any other person's face but his. Before I could dwell in the pros and cons of this marriage, I distracted myself from the topic by focusing on the guy in front of me. He was concentrating on cleaning my face. I knew I was a mess and that he was trying to fix me. But he could only do that physically. The damage that was done emotionally, would take a hell lot of time to heal.

When he was done, he went out of the bathroom and came back a few moments later, with my clothes. A jeans and a plain top with a hoodie. He had seen me almost naked before so I didn't protest as he started undressing and dressing me. I just sat there silently. I had never been this freaking calm in my entire life. I was getting scared of myself. Ryan would glance at me from time to time trying to decipher what I was thinking but failed as he let out a defeated sigh. He stood up in front of me and made me stand too as he picked me up from the counter and let me down on the floor on my feet. My legs shook but I balanced myself. He pulled the hoodie over my body as he turned me around and combed my hair tying them in a ponytail. He turned me back around and picked me up bridal style. I was so engrossed in my self pity that I didn't even realize that we had entered the living room. My dad..or..Anthony...I still haven't decided what to call him, stood there with one of his bodyguards support as the others looked bewildered when they saw me. They ran up to me but I stopped them halfway when I involuntarily curled myself more into Ryan's embrace and spoke a feeble 'No'. They looked confused and torn as their eyes went to and fro between me and Ryan.

"Jim..can you come with me?" Ryan asked him but his voice held a certain authority. Jim nodded as they started walking out the door, me still in his arms. Anthony didn't try to stop me. He didn't even look at me. That felt like a stab in my heart. My grip tightened around Ryan's neck as I spoke

"Ryan...." I just wanted to get out of this place now, as fast as possible. He got the message as he pulled me even closer, if that was even possible and covered the distance between the front door and his car in merely five seconds. He pulled the backdoor of the car and placed me inside as he closed the door. I remained curled up on my side of the car as he held a conversation with Jim. He looked at me and then at him. I closed my eyes as I tried to wake up from this nightmare but I knew this was anything but that.

This was reality....

Reality of my life...

And I hated that for the first time in my entire 24 years of existence....

I had no control on things that were happening around me and how they were affecting me....