Protecting You ("The Shadows" Series: Book I)

XXIV

Lily's POV

It's been two days since I got discharged, since I last saw him. I was staying in Ryan's room and he was nowhere to be found. He had left with Zach and Evan talking about a man they were going to interrogate. Evan and Zach came back that day and when I asked them about Ryan they said that he wanted some time. That he was busy with something. I was getting worried every passing second thinking about him. All the worst case scenarios were clouding my head as his arrival delayed. I had so many questions in my mind. As soon as I got discharged, my brain started working on override. I thought about how one moment he had proposed me and the other moment I was trying to rescue him from all the gunshots and the following moment he was gone away...for two days straight.

He could have asked me to move in with him for some days until I could find my own place to live and I would have agreed. But why marriage proposal? It was not even a proposal. It was like an order. I still remember the look in his eyes. The way he said me to marry him was firm but the look in those orbs told a different story. He was looking at me in a way that made my knees go weak. I knew I had feelings for him but when that accident took place, I couldn't let him die. I couldn't imagine how I would have survived without him. That feeling was new and scared the shit out of me. If someone would have told me that I would be sacrificing my life for the sake of the leader of the biggest mafia, I would have given that person a piece of my mind along with a bloodied nose. But now that I'm in that situation, I couldn't help but think about the leader. I knew he would not reciprocate my feelings. Not a chance. Then why was he pretending as if he wanted me?

Suddenly I heard a knock on my door followed by a peek by Zach.

"May I come in?" I nodded, confused as to why he was smiling at me. We had never had a proper conversation. We hardly saw each other. And here he was standing on my doorstep giving his million dollar smile. I sat on my bed cross legged and patted the place beside me. He took a seat and we stayed silent for a few minutes before he spoke

"How are you?" I rolled my eyes.

"I'm fine. Now come to the point. Why are you here?" He looked at me sheepishly.

"Can't I come to know about your health?" He tried to distract me. I shook my head.

"You never bothered to even acknowledge my existence before." I shrugged. He chuckled at that.

"True. You know I'm not good at making conversation. I'm a man of less words and more action."

"Tell me about it." He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. I knew something was wrong. I think he saw the question in my eyes as he sighed.

"It's Ryan." My breath hitched.

"He is in the hospital right now. His condition is not that bad, just few bruises and shots here and there-"

"SHOTS??!!!" A high pitched voice escaped my lips. He flinched and tried to cover his ears. My gut feeling told me that this conversation was not going to end well.

"Jesus woman. Let me complete." I glared at him as he cleared his throat and was about to continue when I stopped him. I took a deep breath in and stood up from the bed. I went to the closet and started searching for something...anything that would cover my legs.

"What are you doing?" He asked wearily. I found Ryan's jogging pants and put them on. I pulled his hoodie out of his closet and wore it. I turned around and made my way towards the door.

"Take me to him."

"You can't go there. He will get mad at us-" I cut him off.

"I don't give two flying shits. Understand? I want to see him. I need to see him. I have questions that he needs to answer right now. He had done whatever the hell he wanted but not anymore. He is in the hospital for fucks sake. I don't care if he is in coma or breathing his last. He owes me an explanation for all the heck that is going around us." I was panting in frustration as he stood wide eyed, mouth hung open and  hands limp on his sides. I cleared my throat to get him out of his trance. He shook his head and closed his mouth. If this was not such a tense moment, I would have laughed on how ridiculous he looked while scratching the back of his head in embarrassment and nervousness. He tilted his head towards the door and followed beside me as we left the building.

He took out a gun from his back pocket and passed it to me.

"You'll need this. Remember to always carry a gun with you wherever you go. Our lives are not that safe. Not anymore." He said as he took the car keys from the driver's hand and opened the driver's door, sliding in. I went to the passenger side and sat comfortably while buckling my seat belts around me. He started the engine as we drove off.

We passed the buildings and everything was blur as I drifted into my own world.

I had not even thought about calling my dad. I knew he was not my father but still he was there for me when I grew up. He never made me feel like I needed anything. He provided everything that I asked or didn't ask for. He was an ideal father. But not a real one. But the thing that was stuck in my head was where exactly was my real father? Was he still alive? And did Gonzalez really know about my family? He said that he was a family to me and that's what scared the hell out of me. But how was it possible? My life was on a cliff. Either I could turn back and move on with the little informations that I had now or I could jump and pray to God that I get my answers or I either die without knowing a single thing about the real me.

My thoughts came to an abrupt end as Zach parked the car in the parking lot of the hospital. The same hospital where I had spent the time after that accident. We got out of the car and made our way inside the building. I followed Zach as he entered the elevator and pressed the fourth floor button. The doors closed on us and immediately I started feeling claustrophobic. I never had this problem. Maybe this was because of my nerves or the fear of what I would see in the room where Ryan was.

I would be lying if I said I was not worried. I wanted to see him in good health. He had done so much for me that I owed him at least a thank you.

The doors opened as we both speed walked, me trailing behind Zach as he led the way towards the room. After rounding a corner we stood in front of room 408. He glanced behind him at me and tilted his head in the direction of the door.

"Good luck." He said before leaving me there standing with a beating heart that could be heard from kilometers distance from me. I inhaled and exhaled to calm my damn heart and held the doorknob.

I prayed to God for his well being and entered...