ART DECO | PHAN

three.

1/14/17
117 lbs.

dan howell's eyes widened. what in the world could he want?

he would have just kept running, avoided his eyes, but he was scared. he didn't know this boy, what if he told everyone to be mean to him?

he didn't trust him.

he came to a halt in front of the gazebo, hugging himself nervously, a habit he had taken up. he was wearing a black sweatshirt so large that it hung almost to his knees. it made him feel smaller, but also more vulnerable.

phil's smile was large and his eyes were bright, dan almost couldn't look at him.

"what's up?" phil tilted his head like a confused puppy. "why are you running in the rain?"

dan bit his lip. he hadn't gotten a chance to run that day, which he tried to do at least once daily. he had found his room, met his roommate (who hadn't said a word when he came in), and changed. it wasn't his fault it was raining, and if he didn't run, the voice would be so loud that he wouldn't be able to sleep. he deserved it, anyways.

"needed some exercise."

phil nodded, almost thoughtful. "i can get that." no, you can't. "but you must be freezing."

dan shrugged, avoiding his eyes. phil motioned to him and dan could feel his heart racing in his chest.

"come here."

dan stayed where he was, frozen. "why?"

phil raised his eyebrows. "because it's raining."

dan stared at him for another moment, a deer in headlights, before sighing and making his way up the steps. he tried not to, but he couldn't help shivering. now that he wasn't moving he was hit by how cold he really was. phil watched him in a way that made dan shiver even more.

"what?" he asked, defensiveness creeping into his tone.

"nothing." his voice made it seem like it wasn't nothing, not at all. it was something.

dan sighed. "i don't care if you think i'm weird."

"i don't think you're weird." phil bit his lip. "i don't even know you."

dan nodded, and the conversation was over. he brushed a curly lock of hair away from his eyes, listening to the rain pound against the pavement. he hardly ever gave himself a chance to really think, it was too dangerous. he would get too lost in self shame, and he was scared he wouldn't be able to climb back out of that hole again.

"what's your favorite kind of dog?"

dan blinked in surprise, and turned towards the other boy, who was grinning at him crookedly. he frowned.

"um, shibes, i guess."

phil's grin widened. "i like corgis."

dan searched his face. his happiness was oddly contagious. "you aren't gonna call me basic for liking shibes?"

phil shook his head, suddenly solemn. "never. no one should be judged for their taste in dogs."

dan was surprised by the giggle that escaped him, and phil seemed equally shocked, as well as pleased that he had made him laugh.

"i like your laugh."

dan bit his lip, tugging his hood over his hair. he needed some kind of emotional protection.

"thanks."

a painful thought came to him, and dan flinched. maybe in a different life, in a different universe where dan was less obsessed with weight and the way he looked, maybe they would be together. maybe phil would be making him laugh while they lay on a soft quilt, drinking hot chocolate. maybe they'd be naked, just cuddling, and dan would let him touch him.

he thought like this far too often, just imagining what things would be like if things were different. he never voiced it because, well, it was rather weird, and more than a little bit creepy. how would this virtual stranger take it that dan was imagining them naked together? it was a coping skill, one dan had to keep to himself.

"what are you thinking about?"

dan shook his head. how could phil read his mind like that?

"shibes," he blurted, and phil laughed. he had a full laugh, one you only heard from movie stars, and maybe santa claus, but it was lighter. a happy noise.

"yeah? glad to hear i've caught your interest."

dan shook his head, an unwanted grin tugging at his lips. "i should probably go."

"wait..." phil paused, pulling off his sweatshirt. dan's breath caught when he caught a glimpse of phil's pale stomach, his hipbones and happy trail prominent. "here. take my sweatshirt, it's dry. and... i can take yours, if you want... i could dry it for you." 

dan stared at him, his hands shoved in soaking wet pockets.

"why?" he asked softly, blinking.

"why what?"

dan bit his lip; tearing his gaze away from phil's face. "why are you being nice to me?"

there was a pause, and phil was presumably thinking, before he spoke again. "because i like being nice to people," he said finally. "it feels good. now take the sweatshirt."

dan nodded timidly, but he didn't take off the one he was wearing, just took phil's and pulled it on over top. he could feel phil giving him a weird look, but thankfully he didn't say anything.

"thank you," dan whispered, and before phil could answer, he ran.