ART DECO | PHAN

twelve.

i wrote this at 4 am on a plane so

-

1/19/17

phil lester smiled when he saw the mousy haired boy walk in, his hands shoved in his pockets. he looked a bit stressed, but he brightened when he saw phil, whether he knew (or liked it) or not.

phil waved as dan came up to him, tossing his bag on the glossy library table.

"hey."

dan smiled weakly, sitting down across from him.

"hi."

phil searched his face. he looked a bit pale today, and his eyes had shadows hovering just below them like rain clouds. "are you feeling alright?"

dan nodded, tucking some hair behind his ear. "of course."

phil frowned, but nodded. "okay..."

dan avoided his eyes, tapping his fingers on the table. "so... i did something." he reached for his bag, digging through it. "it's just a draft, so don't judge it too much." his face was tinted a soft rosy color. phil smiled.

"don't worry."

dan set his notebook down on the table, flipping through the pages. the sound of shuffling paper filled the silence and phil watched his hands move with delicate precision.

finally he stopped, spinning around the book. phil leaned in to look.

it was a messy sketch, crossing two pages. it seemed to be a map, with scribbled locations and arrows etched into the paper, some words scribbled out or elaborated on below them.

the map itself had winding streets, lined with buildings and shops and houses. phil leaned in to pick up more detail. some homes were drawn to be two story, some had tiny basketball hoops out front, or a dog playing on the lawn. dan seemed to have really lost himself in it. phil smiled.

"this is amazing." he ran his fingertips around the outline of a cloud; the sky was filled with them, and the ground seemed to be made of them.

dan blushed, chewing on his lip. "it's nothing..."

phil shook his head, looking up. "it's great. thank you, we can definitely use this."

dan was clearly trying to hide his happiness, and phil smiled just from watching him.

"oh-" dan grabbed the notebook, tugging it back in his direction. he flipped through a few more pages before taking out what seemed to be a bundle of scraps of paper. he slid it in phil's direction. "here... the magazine clippings."

"oh yeah..." phil took the small stack, a bit surprised by how much effort dan was putting into this.

he shuffled through the pictures. they were mostly of female models, extremely skinny ones, and they were all around the same size of cutouts. phil frowned when some of the pictures seemed to be a bit older. the edges seemed to be a bit dulled, the image not quite as bright or smooth and glossy. but before phil could ask, dan took them back from his hands.

"are they okay?" he asked softly, watching phil with large brown eyes. phil nodded.

"yeah, those will be perfect." he offered him a smile. dan smiled back.

"good." he paused. "what now?"

phil hummed, leaning back in his chair. "can i see the draft again?"

dan nodded, pushing the paper back towards him. phil looked it over again, and pulled a pen out of his jacket pocket. he paused.

"come here."

dan's eyes widened and his cheeks darkened. "w-what?"

phil patted the seat next to him. "c'mere."

dan nodded, licking his lips. he timidly stood up, sitting down next to him instead of across from him.

phil's pen hovered over his drawing. "can i...?"

dan nodded, watching him carefully. "go ahead."

phil touched the pen to the paper, drawing a tiny shape in the yard of one of the houses.

"i think this family would have a dog," he muttered, glancing at dan for approval. "because they have a bike outside." he pointed at a tree that had a tiny bicycle leaning against it. he could feel dan's eyes on him. "so they clearly have children, and maybe a few, since it's a big house. so they need a pet to watch the children while the parents are out."

dan was silent for a moment before speaking. "you're right." he took the pen from him, their fingers brushing. "about most of it."

his lips tugged up in crooked smile, biting his lip as he drew.

"he's an only child," he mumbled, his eyes flickering attentively over the page. "there's only one bike. the house is big because his parents both work for this big company... they're always on business trips. but they earn a lot, so they have enough money to get this big house."

dan spoke slowly, and softly, but steadily, as if he knew exactly what he wanted to say before he said it. phil took a deep breath, watching him.

"but the kid's lonely, right? so one year, when the parents are back in town for his birthday dinner, he asks for only one thing. a dog to keep him company."

dan pulled back, and phil's eyes jumped from his face to the drawing. he had sketched a tiny bow on the dog's head, and beside him was a boy, a gleeful expression on his face. phil grinned, taking the pen back, letting the touch on dan's hand linger.

"his new dog makes him really happy for a bit," phil muttered. his free hand was creeping towards dan's on the table, and he didn't notice until they touched. he didn't comment, just kept talking. "but he's still lonely because his family is never around. but one day, a few months after his seventeenth birthday, his parents come home with a surprise." he pulled back, revealing the small tricycle he had drawn next to the bike. "a baby brother."

he felt dan's hand shift, and expected him to pull away, but he only half-intertwined their fingers. dan reached out for the pen.

"they're still working all the time, though," he whispered, as if telling a secret. phil felt his thumb against his; his skin was warm and lovely. "and he ends up taking care of the baby a lot. but he's okay with it, he's used to it, and he loves his brother." dan bit his lip in concentration. "but then his dad calls, and tells him they're coming home, for good this time. both of his parents quit, but they're so well off that it doesn't matter."

phil's eyes flickered over dan's face while his attention was elsewhere. his heart was racing even though all that was happening was drawing and telling stories in the library while their hands touched. what was wrong with him?

dan sat back again. phil smiled when he saw the two adults he had drawn beside the boy and the dog, the mother holding a smaller boy, who was clinging to her like a monkey.

"and they're happy," he finished, his voice simultaneously much less than a whisper and much, much more.

phil didn't say anything. there wasn't anything more to add. he just sat there, soaking in the silence, his fingers half- intertwined with dan's and his heart half- pounding and he let that be all he needed.