The Old Tuck Shop

PROLOGUE

Isn't it terrifying how easily the past can suddenly transform into a living, breathing soul, completely misjudged by the rest of the world?

I was lying in my mother's arms, tucked under her shoulder blades in an attempt to hide my tears that were running down my face like currents. I felt my mother's frail and fragile breath. She was giving up. She was losing hope. Losing hope on us. She kept reassuring me that "everything was going to be okay," but I could see in her eyes that it wasn't. I removed myself from her tight grasp, shivering, unable to move a bone in my body. Too afraid that if I let go long enough that she would vanish. I gazed up at her, expecting reassurance for our future, but instead, I saw her eyes glisten in the gloom of the living room. But her eyes were glistening with fear, not hope.

As the callous morning slipped by, I continued to feel the fear in my mother, without actually feeling her. I could sense how weak she felt. Like I knew somehow things were going to get worse for me with or without my mother's support. And it must've happened there and then. My worst nightmare had come true.

It was as if she disappeared from the rest of the world.

When I could no longer close my eyes and pretend this was all a twisted dream, I pulled one of my bony, shaky hands out into the air. First, I searched for her in the dark. But there was no sign of her. She was completely gone. And I was alone. Dust filled my lungs and I coughed. When I looked up, I saw the ceiling beams starting to collapse one by one. As if a representation of my remaining hopes for my mother to return. I closed my eyes to protect them from the dust and crawled to the corner of my living room.

Tucked up into a ball, I tried to plan my next move. I could try and escape through the garden, but I could see the unnatural lights shining through the back door. I was completely cornered. With nowhere else to go, I crawled under the table as protection from the collapsing ceiling above.

Another bright, blue and red light shone through the window. Out of fear, I hid my face, afraid that they would take me away. My hands trembled as I held them over my mouth, resisting the urge to cough. I figured that whoever was heading my way would take me from my home. So I had to make myself invisible. That was the easy part, at least. No one ever noticed me.

Growing up, I never had friends. Or at least not many. I was only ever close to my friend Josh. I wonder if he'll know that I'm gone. I wonder if anyone will know. I'm sure news will spread across town about my mother. After all, I live in a small community. Rumours will appear. And I won't even be there to defend myself or my mother's name. Just like her, I'll disappear from the rest of the world.

When the light subsided, a gravelly voice permeated the room. I froze. The voice grew closer and closer to me, and I felt his boots pounding on the floor. My mouth went dry, and I tucked my head into my jacket as if it were my only shelter, waiting for either something good or bad to happen. I could hear the man calling for me. I didn't know how he knew my name, but I figured he knew about me and my mother's situation and knew it wasn't safe.

But I didn't want this. I didn't want anyone to get involved. I would've been fine on my own. I knew how to ration food, I'd done that before. The last time my mother decided to leave me on my own. I didn't know how long she was gone. I lost track after five days and just assumed that she was never coming back. So I guess now is like last time. Except I know for certain that she's never coming back. I swallowed and tried to push those thoughts to the back of my mind.

They say that everyone will have that big life-changing event that shapes you into the individual you are today. It supposedly leads you onto the right path that guides you for the rest of your life. Your past defines you. Sometimes you see it coming. Sometimes you don't. Sometimes it happens in a blink of an eye. That's half true for me - in an instant, my life was truly lost.

I shook, helpless, like an animal in distress in the corner of the room. All I could do was watch and wait. Tears streamed down my cheeks as the voice came within touching distance to me. He placed his hand on my shoulder and I felt...relief. I slowly lifted my head and attempted a smile. He smiled back at me, and I knew he meant it. But I was still afraid to let him take me. I still couldn't process what was happening to me. I was overwhelmed. Without thought, I forced my legs up from the floor and he gently picked me up into his arms. thinking this was the best thing for me.

He placed a mask over my mouth to protect me from the dust and placed his hand over my head. I wanted to resist. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to hold my mother, despite everything she put me through. My heartbeat quicker and a small sob escaped my mouth. The man rubbed my back and tried to comfort me the best way he could. I tried to keep my head clear, but it was too much.

My eyes scurried to my surroundings, and my home. I tried to keep myself focused on something other than my mother's abandonment. What had become of my home? All of our memories and adventures were barely visible, and all broken from when the Police bombarded it. I guess it wasn't exactly home or even a house. The ceiling beams were falling through. Rooms were barely furnished. And there were cracks all over the walls. But it was home to me.

I dried my eyes and turned my head slowly towards an old photograph of my mum and me. It was when we went for a picnic last year. It wasn't much. We could never afford a holiday but my mum tried to make up for that. She always tried to make me happy, despite our money troubles. I tried to smile and muster up any love for her, but my stomach churned at the sight of it. Before I could process any new emotions, my eyes filled up, imagining a life without her. I wondered if I would ever see her again, or if she was even alive. I tucked my head into his jacket and tried to forget this whole thing ever happened, but it was of no use.

How could my mother...How could my mother just leave me like that?